Random Thoughts

2012-01-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

From her childhood, Sarah was fascinated by the world outside her little city. Little however has to be selectively applied only to the size of the city she lived in, for the spirit and vibrancy of the city was nothing short of monstrous. Sarah lived in Mumbai - the liveliest of Indian cities, famous for its Bollywood movies, its cultural and religious diversity and its potency to make dreams come true, equally infamous for its noise, pollution and underworld dons.

Sarah had never seen the much of the world, for that matter she had only visited a few places in India. However, being raised on a rich diet of European and American literature throughout her childhood and teenage, she fantasized life in distant countries. Countries where autumn turned the leaves red and orange, where winter caused the snow to spread its icy chill over every form of life and where spring heralded newness. In her city it was perpetually the same weather throughout the year, except for a couple of months of rainfall and an occasional bout of cold at the end of year. There was not be seen the ebb and fall of the seasons, the changing hues or the experience of soft flaky snow on your palm.

Sarah was a dreamer, an explorer at heart. She wanted to meet the people in these distant lands and understand their way of life. She had visualized a romantic world of cheerful people who waved their hats at each other hollering greetings as they passed each other by, of little children wearing bright colorful dresses running on fresh green lawns as their mothers or nannies kept a watchful eye on them. Her imagination also sometimes went anachronistic. Women wore gowns with ruffled sleeves and petticoats and corsets, hats with feathers on them and mittens on their hands. Men wore coats, waistcoats and breeches of fine fabric and lace. All colorful products of an over active imagination combined with a passion for 18th century European literature.

Such was her life. Such were her dreams.

Sarah ran her fingers through her long unruly tresses. She wore them open and they wrapped her back like a soft quilt. She had always attempted to tame them, but they insisted on remaining as obstinate as ever. She bunched them up such that they resembled a gorgeous bunch of grapes. She was tired, with everything that happened around her and her hair was just adding to it.

A sigh that was filled with pain and regret escaped her trembling lips. After nearly a year of battling depression, fighting it with bold words and a fake cheerfulness, she finally had succumbed to its lusty grasp. She felt like a drowning child trying to hold on to anything solid, anything permanent around her. But everything around her was as fickle as straw. Everything she clutched on to fell apart. The land under her feet was giving way like quicksand and the more she struggled to stay high, the more it pulled her down. What could she do? At 30, she was going through a divorce. The rock strong institution in her life - her marriage - had failed.

She blamed herself for it. She blamed herself for being the dreamer she was. Why did she have to fantasize life in exotic places. Such a life would never be hers. Why couldn't she be happy staying in her little city. The differences between her husband and her were not by any proportions small. They were two diametrically opposite people. She had loved to travel and see the world, but David loved India. He wasn’t much of a traveler, he found happiness in small things and daily events. Her desire to fly away and his to remain rooted was the principle reason for this divorce.

Sarah had met David on a mellow evening five years ago on this day. A typical arranged marriage in India, Sarah had not had the chance to get to know David much before their marriage. However she had sensed a bonding with him from the time their eyes first met. Hers was shy and beautiful, his admiring and tender. It was an instant connection. It is very truly said that the eyes convey the most expressions of all human gestures, for through the eyes reflect our inner self. They do not betray inner emotions. They are transparent and clear like streams on sunny days, incapable of hiding anything.

Sarah and David had on that beautiful evening looked deep into each others’ eyes. If there is something called a soul in each of us, then on that day, at that moment, their souls recognized each other and had sought comfort and tenderness in its mate's company.

A couple of uncontrollable tears rolled down her cheek as she heard their wedding vows echoing from some faraway place in her mind. They had held hands in church, in front of their family and friends and had promised to love, comfort and cherish each other till the end of their days.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you; I will spend all my days at your side.
I vow to love each day anew, For love must exist through time and space:”,

Sarah softly repeated her wedding vows. How she wished for a new beginning, how she wished that life could give her a second chance. All those days of love, romance and belonging now seemed such a long time ago. She could not understand how something so beautiful could have reached such a low. She had been the eternal romantic. She used to believe that love was forever, that love could fight all odds. But sadly in her story, love had finally accepted defeat.

She passed the last night that she would be legally married to David in nostalgic anguish. Did he feel the same, she wondered. She hadn't heard from him in a very long time except through his lawyer. Tomorrow she would have to face him in the court. How strange was life.

.. to be contd...

Reflections after first day in lab

2011-04-14T03:10:00.000-07:00

1) Would have been nice to know Mandarin dialects. Would at least understand what people in my lab are saying. If I listen intently enough, quite often I can figure out the context of their talk, mainly through their expressions and inadvertent use of English words.

2) Have been drinking too much coffee, tea, mocha and juice. All in a day. Reason: The business canteen is too near.

3) My desk is the nearest to the door. Somehow I have a feeling that in the coming days I would realize it to be not such a great thing.

4) The desk here is larger and more commodious than the one I had in Infy.

5) I was expected to push my new PC set upon a trolley all by myself till the lab. Thankfully, had a friend to help.

6) Should get a thicker jacket next time. The aircon is pretty darn cold.

7) Spending too much time idling. Must get back to work

8) Need to get another coffee before that.

First Day (rather Night) in the Research lab

2011-04-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

Sitting in my lab for the first time in the university at 3.30 am, a cup of steaming coffee beside me, poring through volumes of papers - I guess this is what research is all about :)

2011-04-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wonder how newspaper columnists come up with something new and witty every twice a week or so. To be a regular writer one must require an eye for details around, imagination to transform the quite mundane into something creative and attractive and a personal opinion on what goes around. Rarely whenever I do get into the 'mood' for writing I get stuck around the same topics. It would either be a description of a wondrous rendezvous with nature or a reflective thought on the nature of us humans that has particularly struck me and needs to be written down.

Today I have neither. My eyes have not recently been enamored by any awe inspiring vision of nature nor has any specimen of our race aroused editable curiosity in my mind. Both of which reflects my total alienation from the world outside. With the exams soon approaching bringing with it a multitude of projects, presentations, formulaes and big fat books which I have only enjoyed reading when they have Harry Potter written on top of them and with numerous research papers to peruse, I find that my time is pretty much spent in the confines of my apartment and lab.

Exams however can be interpreted by the highly optimistic folks as the precursor to Holidays ! And I being one of those recklessly optimistic 'glass half full' kinda people, have created a snug imagination of carefree days roaming in pleasant weather with idyllic thoughts. What should it be I wonder, laze around on a beach sipping coconut water and watch the foamy waves break up on the shore or saddle my bags and hike to gaze at active volcanoes in neighboring Indonesia. Or maybe I could hit a trip back to India and drown myself in homey comfort. Aah, the pleasures of one's wistful imagination !

However on a sudden impulse it wouldn't be an all too bad idea to pause the dreaming, hit the road and go out for a little midnight sprint around the park, just to get a lungful of fresh air and to see if nature manages to woo me yet again. So long then.. it's Jogging time !

Bukit Gombak

2011-02-22T03:23:00.000-08:00

Ever been led down a fleet of steep stone steps amidst a wooded area grazing a lake, blind folded??? When on opening your eyes the spectacle before you happens to be sheer breath taking, the experience counts as simply amazing.

A couple of friends took me to a lake calmly nestled in between a hillock and swaying tall trees. It was just one of those random spots that one discovers by accident when traveling, a haven of serenity, the kind of place that inspires the artist within you. We sat there on rocks for a while as the last rays of the sun having swept through the skies gave way to a balmy star studded night. A frog jumped into the water, a couple sang songs on a guitar and 3 girls chatted away oblivious of time.

I love Singapore for these little brushes with nature

Moon moon where art thou !

2011-02-17T06:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night while walking back home with a friend we paused on our tracks and looked up to see the moon, It was hidden between the torn curtains of clouds. At times it peeked at us from between the small holes in the cloud and at times it disappeared completely for a while engulfed by the silver gray clouds and yet again It would come back.

This reminded me of a game we play with little kids. We pretend to hide for a while and then reappear. And then again hide and surface with a smile. The child would wonder where we were, when we hid, and then gurgle with delight when we appear. Makes me think that we are all kids here. Its better this way. What fun would it be to merely to walk at night as pompous adults, without delighting at these games that nature plays.

Nature has something beautiful for everyone. Be it the the majestic sunrises and sunsets or the blushing dawn. The patter of the rain or the roar of the thunder. A bug crawling up its way on a tender leaf or the croaking bull frog at night. It is the new born calf learning to get up on its feet, it is the chirping of a thousand birds at dusk. It is warm summer days and cool winter evenings. It inspires poets to write of love, life, joy and beauty. It is the promise of goodness and purity and of everything that is right and pleasing...

Happy Valentines Day

2011-02-13T07:07:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the year when red roses and little red hearts go up in shops across the world. Each year as I walk through the streets I cannot resist getting into these brightly decked shops and admiring the cutest valentine apparel for sale. A die-hard romantic that I am, I love getting little gifts, knick knacks, cards and flowers for no special reason. To be honest, I must confess here that at times on this day, I have indulged in buying myself a cute teddy or a box of heart shaped chocolates. Just because you don't have a valentine doesn't mean you cannot have the cute stuff :)

Today I was thinking of writing a story about a lost valentine, as a valentine day writing endeavor and to put some life back into this blog. However once started, I realized sad stories shouldn't have a place on this beautiful day. The purpose of this blog was to make it's readers feel good and to this end I am simply going to put up some nice quotes on love and life.

A happy valentine's day to all :)

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

True love is when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall - but you are there to catch them.

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world !!!

A late night pondering...

2010-12-30T08:28:00.000-08:00

Life is a whole jumble of uncertainties. Each day, every hour it pops up something new, something unexpected. It makes you happy sometimes and sometimes not so happy. Happiness to quote the old adage is like the butterfly which keeps fluttering away every time you think you just got closer. But at times I wonder why chase this butterfly after all and insist on catching it. Can’t we be happy just staying in the garden among the flowers the butterfly is hovering over? One might not always obtain the object of one’s desire or longing but shouldn’t we rather than chasing fleeting possibilities of happiness lay back a bit and enjoy what has already been given to us; to enjoy the present rather than target a delusional future. I do not mean that ambitions or aspirations ought not be there. I simple mean that if you do not obtain exactly what you have been chasing, do not torment yourself over it. Maybe what you have instead received is something even more beautiful; the only thing is that in order to realize the beauty of it we need to remove the blinders we have put on, to love and forgive ourselves in the only life we have got. As my friend says, it’s all a matter of perception. The optimist sees the rose, the pessimist sees the thorns. Someone sees the glass half full yet someone else sees it half empty. Some say the butterfly has flown away yet some look about and say that there are so many more around.

Held at gun point

2010-12-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

I had quite forgotten about the existence of this blog, until a friend gently reminded me that he would personally come over and hold me at gun point unless I write again. I am both amused at the hilarity of this warning and touched at his gesture of motivating me. Writing had been my passion until a few years back and I needed no external push to get my pen scribbling. Anecdotes, stories, daily incidents, musings everything got penned down with great enthusiasm. However off late this urge to write began receding until now when I need to be threatened by a possible physical assault or get laden by emotional guilt to start punching the keys again. Am I just plain lazy or is it something deeper like a personality change I wonder.

Another rainy day

2010-11-15T22:45:00.000-08:00

Sitting beside an open window, sipping tea and cradling the lap-top, I look out into a rainy Singaporean afternoon sky. The rain has turned it into a shade of light gray evenly spread, broken intermittently only by faint outlines of darker clouds. A gentle rumbling of thunder streaks the soft silence of the skies. The cool wind, the foggy skies and the patter of the rain sets the mood for introspection. I think of the days spent so far in Singapore, now almost drawing to a close for this semester.

The semester started out with a huge burst of excitement. The novelty of living in a new country, befriending people of different nationalities and exploring places in Singapore. The mid of the semester was busy with submissions and assignments. It's now towards the end of the semester that I get time to wind back and relax.

Towards the evening the rain draws back, leaving behind a cool and pleasant night. Stray drops of rain fall silently with a mind of it's own. In such spectacular weather, I spend the evening lying on rocks beside the gentle flowing waves of the ocean. I am accompanied by a friend, a real crazy one at that, but one who is charmingly sincere. We talk into the night, all the while accompanied by the ebb of the sea.

On the whole, today has been a spectacular rainy day. And now in this wee hour, I find sleep gradually stealing in drawing my eyelids shut, but I resist it with the cheerful buoyancy of a spirited night.

Macritchie Reservoir

2010-09-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

We spent the day at Mac Ritchie reservoir looking at huge trees, listening to the soft sound of water trickling along crevices on the ground and watching birds fluttering around us. Sigh! Does indeed sound like a and restful day. But we weren't a bunch of picnickers out to enjoy the romantic weather. We were an energetic, passionate group of trekkers out to explore the 10 km of the MacRitchie forest trail on foot. No rain, or shortage of food or water could deter us from this task. Trek we would and trek we did. There was not one coward among us who couldn't stand the ordeal and tried to scamper to the nearest exit. Or maybe the reason why no one scampered away was because the nearest exit was 10 km away :P

There was a lot of singing along the way - the ubiquitous Antakshri played at every gathering. We crackled twigs under our feet and scared stray squirels, as we walked singing all along the way.

Admist all this singing and frivolity, as we ambled through the jungle, I felt at peace. Cut off from the busy civilization, forgetting for that time any other academic commitment, strolling with the light rain drops caressing my face, I could feel the serenity of a place undisturbed. A place hiding many secrets, which lay still in daylight, but would come alive at night, Where no man would dare to walk alone in the dark, a place that opened itself to us in those few hours. Tall gnarled trees, wild berries, stray mushrooms, a tortoise, the fish in the water, reptiles - all a part of this forest, let us make an acquaintance with them. Such an acquaintance that it wouldn't be forgotten soon.

Loved the day !

Looooooooot !!!

2010-08-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

Alright, for starters, I am now in Singapore. I have been here for more than a week now which means that I have to some extent stopped making gauche social blunders that seemed to be on a peak during my first week here.

The number of instances of my unwarranted stupidity are quite a few.

In the first few days I used to behave just like i would, had i been in India. I would to forget to carry my ezee link card - the card which u have to swipe before boarding any bus or train in Singapore and i would end up cutting a sorry figure while boarding the bus. I would plead with the bus captain to stop the bus after I realize that it was my stop that went by and thereby incur a reprimanding stare from him. I used to wait at zebra crossings, and then realize that the oncoming car is waiting for me to cross first and conversely i used to forget that i have to wait for the green light to glow before i start crossing at the traffic lights.

I have petted cats, forgetting that i could be fined for it. I have almost spent 1 hour trying to go to the music hall in my university when it was just a 5 minute distance. I have done ever so many acts of tactlessness in my first week here :)

Friends were not many, a few scattered ones. They were mostly busy and i was practically free the entire first week. In such moments of utter joblessness, i used to mostly watch back to back episodes of Friends on my lappie, cook and do a bit of exploration of the city accompanied by my roomie.

Then today evening i was invited to this get together of a group - 'The Legion of Mary'
Now, I am more of an introvert, maybe an ambivert to some extent, but definitely not the kind of person who will go out and befriend and whole new group of strangers and come back and add them on facebook. But the beauty of this evening was that they were all so friendly. It was great to sit in a room full of people, many of whom were genuinely interested in getting to know you. Felt quite at home today :) We had dinner, chatted, made jokes and yes we played LOOOOOT :)

Oh, and I came home and added many of them on Facebook too :)

This place is getting better, I think I might just like Singapore afterall :)

2010-07-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

Aaargh.. yet another of those phoney, too sweet, pretentious style of saying goodbye over the phone...
I hate it when people try to be over cheerful and say "Baaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee" when they are on d phone. A simple Bye would suffice!

Friends

2010-07-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

It's the time to celebrate. There are weddings, birthdays, baptisms, engagements... so many wonderful joyous occasions of friends . So many parties to attend, so much of cake!

To take out time to be with your friends in these joyful moments, is a way of telling that you care for them.

It's when we live away from home, in a far off place, when our family is no longer our support system that we realize the true meaning of friendship. Someone who is ready to walk an extra mile with you just to accompany you, or think up funny things when you are sad, or stay with you at home when you are sick and cannot go to the movies. Little sacrifices go a big way in warming a person's heart... Lucky are those who have such wonderful friends :)

The Unsystematic Me !

2010-07-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

Why is it that people expect me to be systematic and orderly about everything. I was never a particular fan of following rules. That doesn't result into me being chaotic and careless to the extreme. Rather I like life to be lived carefree without instructions telling me what i should be doing at what time on which day. Another reason why i hate the concept of study timetables!

There are people i know, who live religiously by their little book of rules. On Mondays they clean, on Tuesdays they wash, on Wednesdays they iron, on Thursdays they discover a new planet....!

I like doing chores when i feel like doing them, living life to enjoy it not governed by self imposed time tables. I am not the type of person who would miss a good movie just because it was the day to go to the grocers and the skies are not going to come falling down just because i did what i enjoyed.

A walk in the park, an evening with friends, a movie with my family, lying aimlessly looking out at the sky, reading an old comic, doodling with colors, just spending the evening laughing at silly jokes over the phone... these are all the little things in life that are too precious to be missed out on for the sake of a chore.

A chapter closes..another begins...

2010-07-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Change is the only thing permanent and wise is the one who realizes this and embraces the change. Not everyone is happy with change, some prefer sticking to their comfort zone and yet some others need to make that extra journey along uncertain paths, to seek their destiny.

What I am to find during that journey, I can't be certain of now, but what I can be certain of is that with Him leading me, I won't ever get lost.

So, here's to the culmination of one journey and the start of another...to new beginnings, new surprises, new stories and new blogs. I look forward with hope and enthusiasm and a tenacious spirit that though does get scared at times, yet continues to go ahead with undettering determination.

Bovine God

2010-06-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

There are times I wish that I could add humor to my writing. But, humor doesn't seem to be my forte. I can of course appreciate humor, but it has to have the right amount of wit mixed in it, for an example I dig Calvin n Hobbes, or Dilbert or Wodehouse, but cannot tolerate senseless Bollywood movies....

Now that I have accepted that I am not a funny person, I will proceed to narrate a descriptive, which in the hands of a more humorously inclined raconteur, would have had the audience in peals of laughter.

Why exactly would I even want to write a post whose effectiveness would primarily depend on a jocular style of narration and yet having in the former paragraph, clarified to the reader that this particular quality would remain absent to a large extent in the passage, I do not know myself. One reason would be that my brain has sensed humor in what the eye beheld, but the writer in me has not evolved to that degree of smoothness of expression that it might be able to convey to paper the exact feelings that the mind appreciated, yet the blogger in me wants to pen it down for the benefit of refreshing my memory with the same thoughts experienced first hand years later, lest my memory makes me forget it.

The post has to do with a Cow. The sacred animal, attributed with Godlike properties in India. The animal which is reverently touched whenever seen outside any temple here. The animal which has unhindered access to the streets, roads and in the case of this post, even the highways!

My building happens to face the highway and the third floor balcony that i sit in just happens to be at the right height above the ground, low enough to view the street and high enough to not let people realize that I am watching.

This particular evening I was watching a cow which was meandering near a shop under my building. It must have been the dearth of green grass there, that it decided to venture slowly to the middle of the highway over to the divider in between.

If i were to narrate the calm passage of the cow to the middle of a busy highway where even humans would need to look left, right and then left and then right again and repeat this procedure atleast 10 times before they reach the same destination as the cow , I could have written up atleast a good 50 lines more. But I shall instead proceed to summarise that paragraph by reminding the reader that this happened in India where our Cow is a God... and Gods can, without the slightest doubt, reach whereever they want to!

The divider in the middle of the highway is around 1 m wide and has green plants and shrubs growing in the patch of soil in it. These plants have been, i believe, planted by the motive of making the highway decorative. But the cow who apparently seems to have no regard for beautification and is quite determined on munching on any vegetation that it can lay it's pink tongue on starts the task.

The traffic police pays absolute dis-regard to the venerated animal. No one comes to take the cow back to where it came from. The cow happily munched for a good 2 hours. A ten metre section of the divider on the highway now lay bare admist the green foliage on either ends.

I turn away...and switch on the tv dispirited.

A Beautiful World

2010-06-11T10:19:00.001-07:00

I am sure you must got this incredible feeling at times when life seems beautiful without any specific reason.. a certain tangible freshness in the air.. bright azure skies .. when no challenge seem unsurmountable.. when you feel like smiling without a reason.. when you hum a tune as you walk.. cheerful thoughts accompanying you..

A couple of days ago i was listening to a song - 'Gurus of Peace', which had incredibly meaningful words.. n thats when it took over me... the same feeling.. the same rapture.. i was wrapped in a soft quilt made of peace, joy, satisfaction, comfort, assurance, love.. a blissful experience..

A few lines I particularly remember are:

Doori kyon dilon mein rahe

faasle kyon badhte rahe

Pyaari hai zindagi hai pyaara jahaan

Rishte badi mushkilon se bante hai yahaan pe lekin

tootne ke liye bas ek hi lamha

And so passionate was the effect of these words on me that i picked up the phone and started calling up old friends with whom i hadnt spoken in a long time.. recollecting old memories.. old jokes..and to top it all ...it rained.. silent drops of water falling from the skies :)

Life is good :)

Devi...

2010-06-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

The winter wind had again begun blowing at night, enveloping every thing it touched in an icy shroud. The little town on the hill stood almost frigid and unmovable, scarcely preserving its vitality, by means of small fires that crackled in furnaces, seen through glowing windows of houses with sloping roofs and gray stone walls.

Devi tugged at her shawl and pulled it closer around her, the last bit of rich clothing that served as a reminder of her former days of opulence and beauty. The fire hissed and crackled, dancing merrily, the branches of the bare trees outside casting ominous shadows on the walls, that were suggestive of spectres and phantoms to a lonely lady huddled in an old shawl.

Devi cried again, wishing for the companionship of an old lost love. If only she hadn’t tossed it all away, if only her pride had taken a bow before his love. But great beauty when coupled with vanity had given rise to such haughtiness within her, that it took years of crying solitude and loneliness to get rid of. Devi managed to rock herself to sleep, blotting out the creepy shadows by shutting her eyes and gradually the old memories faded away as she slipped into oblivion.

The next afternoon, the wind was milder in its icy wrath. Devi managed to settle herself in the verandah. She spotted the neighboring boys playing cricket in the street outside. The pesky kids were too much of a trouble. Always creating a ruckus when all she wished for was peace and quiet. The winter sun shone mildly as she drifted off into a nap.

The sudden noise jolted her. The troublesome kids had once again thrown their ball over into her yard. And a couple of kids had ventured in to retrieve their possession. Devi thought that this was the perfect opportunity to intimidate them from coming any further.

She stood up and walked a few paces towards them. The boys halted in their track, uncertain of what to do next.
Devi rose her wrinkled hand and yelled at them.

‘Don’t you boys ever dare come into my yard again.’

The boy called Rohit answered, ‘Aunty we just need to get our ball’

‘I will not bear noise here. Go away from here’, said Devi

‘How about some cookies and tea, Aunty’, beamed Rohit.

He was a brave boy. A lad who was far mature for his age. He sensed in the old lady, a longing for companionship and friendship.

Undeterred by the scowl on Devi’s face, he persisted. ‘We are tired aunty, could you give us some water?’

Devi was stunned. It was after a very long time that someone had asked something of her.

She recollected herself and for some reason that she couldn’t understand, went in to get some water.

The boys soon swarmed up around her, talking and laughing and asking her many questions. Devi managed to answer some of them.

Young kids are possessed with so noble a heart and so engaging a disposition, that old people cannot resist their buoyancy and vibrancy.

The boys came in the next day too around the same time, she had prepared cookies for them. They again talked and played about her and chomped on the cookies.

This turned into a daily affair. Each day Devi looked forward to the kids. Each day she prepared something nice for them. They in turn chatted with her for hours, narrating incidents from school and their families. Devi found the link to the world that she had lost many a years ago.

Her solitary home now turned into a beautiful abode for the young children, who be-friended her. The old lonely lady now became the kind neighborhood aunty who loved children. Devi never had a family of her own. These children had become her family. Devi now experienced for the first time in her life, what is was to love and to be loved back.

De-Cluttering is just not my cup of tea

2010-03-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

I often think of clearing the clutter in my room, empty the drawer of unwanted knick knacks, pack off old clothes to somewhere, clean out the closet and make space for new girly paraphernalia.

But each time I spill out the contents of the drawer, I spot little reminences of old days.

My favorite bracelet when i turned 18, the one i used to wear with all outfits not caring whether it matched or not. The stuffy brown teddy with a red bow and missing buttons. The cute red Hannah Montana t-shirt which i keep convincing will fit me one day. The eight standard collage work mounted on a thick cardboard sheet, hung behind the door, now frayed around the corners. Old playing cards with which we spent many a interesting summer afternoons. Stacks of old cards received during past Birthdays and Christmas seasons stowed away in a plastic bag, each bringing with it some recollection of old days. Friendships bands collected over the college years..messages written over some of them. And so on.

It's a whole assortment of unwanted but yet too precious to lose stuff hidden behind the neat, polished closet doors. Maybe i just need to get another cupboard, rather than clean the existing one :P

Another Day...

2010-03-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of those lazy days, which I have spent lounging on the couch, when there is a perceptible whiff of the approaching monsoon hanging in the air and the fierce summer heat mellowing into an almost pleasant warmth. The kind of day that reminds you of frolicking childhood vacations now lit with an omnipresent sunshine of nostalgic origin, and bring back vividly imagined scenes out of an old Enid Blyton, especially of picnics in gardens with marmalade, apple pies and puddings, scented roses, daisies and daffodils with cousins who have come over to spend their vacations with you and everyone is happy, smiling and joyful and everything is resplendent.

The kind of day in the present when u lie under the pleasant air cooled by the fan, curled up with a Thomas Hardy as he takes you around on a venture limited sheerly by the reader's imagination. Sipping on lemonade which is too sweet, I empathize with the protagonist, while pigeons outside the french windows have unhindered access to the balcony and perform interesting antics that at times distract the reader.

Also the kind of day which while maturing makes you grow contemplative over the past and curious about the future and gives you a kind of luxurious freedom to view the unwinding tapestry of your life, as only a distant observer can, a time when you can disconnect from the present, uninhibited by any thought and view the marvelous colors life has been adorned with.

.

Yet another beautiful sight..

2010-03-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Bejeweled in flaming red flowers and void of any vestiges of green foliage, stands a tree beside SDB 7 the building in which I work. The sight of this exuberant tree, reminds me each day that it's time to get back to work. But as I walk along the sidewalk surrounded by the freshly mown lawn, the neatly trimmed hedges, desultory blown leaves and the vivaciously chirping birds, I slow down my pace into a leisurely stroll. Office can wait a bit :)

I have always been fascinated by the beaty of nature. Be it the lonely moon adorning the vast canvass of the night sky or droplets of dewdrops sparkling on tender green leaves, I get enraptured alike. Infosys campus is a great place to bask in the freshness of nature. Another reason to stay put in Infy for some more time :)

.

A cat's tale..

2010-03-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

I have met a lot of dog lovers. Ofcourse it is easy to love a dog. Who wouldn't love a creature who always gets excited to see you even when you are your most disheveled self, who without any hesitation will stick to your side whether you be right or wrong, who will hang around whining for ur attention all day long, perk his ear and cock his head sideways the moment you make the slightest movement and basically consider you to be the best person ever to set foot on earth.

Yes, I love dogs too.

But i have always liked cats better!

Cats have style. They are not attention seekers like dogs. They have their pride, will not run around you wagging their tails and tongue. They are dignified creatures who expect respect.

I had a pet cat some time back - Sonu. Her name albeit didn't suit her personality. Sonu had all the majesty of a queen, her walk was graceful, her posture most magnificient, she had feline royalty in her blood - the 'well bredness' which comes to us humans only by careful cultivation.

Often sitting on my window sill, she would look around with disdain at the goofiness of street dogs, an air of superiority of her race about her. Whenever I used to enter a room she is in, she would raise a salutatory head at me, acknowledging my presence and then revert back to her task. She would never drink milk which had even a slight amount of water mixed in it, and would throw me a questioning glance and walk away as if miffed at my impertinence of offering her sub-standard food.

But whenever she needed cuddling, she would turn into the cutest furball, bounce onto my lap, and dig her nails into my dress and purr contentedly. She had very innovative styles of sleeping, but during casual naps would lie on her side, legs neatly stretched out as if reclining in her royal bed chamber.

She could be playful at times, and has spent hours disentangling herself from a ball of yarn which she had managed to rope around her. Anything from a bottle cap to my stuffed teddy were objects of amusement and feigned adversaries to her.

She was very much like us humans, friendly to those who were nice to her and dislikeful of her foes. Never a boot licker, always maintaining her self respect.

Some one who understands a cat as a selfish creature would be quite wrong. Cats are loving too, they may not have the faithfulness of dogs, but faithfulness is not in their nature, we cannot blame someone for what they are not created to be.

Cats are interesting, funny and cute creatures. Very lovable too. It wasn't merely that I spent almost a month crying intermittently when I lost Sonu.

It is now one of my most pleasant memories. The kind of nostalgic memory which always bring forth images of golden sunlit days and carefree wanderings.

.

Mismatch!

2010-02-21T08:24:00.000-08:00

I have a car and a scooty. The car is preferred for longer distances and the scooty for local travel. The car and the scooty both lost their voice almost simultaneously. It began with the car whose horn got feebler and the scooty just stopped honking one fine day. Took them both to the mechanic, got em back.The funniest thing as now happened. My scooty now sounds like my car and the car sounds like a scooter !!

The former is good i guess, a stronger, formidable sound that causes people to make space...but its a pity to hear the mighty car sounding a barely audible peeep. It's like the huge lion who opened it's mouth for an almighty roar that would send shivers through the whole jungle but all it cud say was meow

I guess I need to show them to a better mechanic, one at a time though!

I know it's funny and hard to believe, a car's horn wont fit in a scooter and vice versa.. but this has really happened... there is an interchange of sound .. or are my ear's ringing!

2010-02-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

I have been very busy these days, shuttling between Pune and Mumbai, with all the application preparations going on and the zonal conference that is to be held tomorrow. Life's very exciting when there are tons of things happening around you. But sometimes between all this rush you wanna pause and rest awhile. Maybe just cuddle up in bed, with some light music, coffee and a book. Or catch a romantic movie on TV. Or just swarm up with your friends and talk about everything under the sun. Life's absolutely wonderful, when you are a part of something, when each day you have something new to look forward to.

I am totally in love with life today.

Tomorrow's valentine's day and to all my friends whether single, committed, married or still looking, I wish a Very Happy Valentine's day. Let's go spread some more love in this world.

Love you guys !!!

I liked this !

2010-01-26T09:17:00.001-08:00

Disclaimer !

2010-01-24T09:19:00.000-08:00

This is to satisfy the curiosity of all who after reading the post below find it amusing to inquire whether i have overnight turned into a amazing landscape painter.

I haven't painted the image below. All i have done with pencil and paint recently is sketch some random portraits, and very distorted ones that too, as a matter of fact.

This painting was taken off the net on a whim. Copyright enthusiasts can hold their peace, I really don't care.

Musings

2010-01-20T09:54:00.000-08:00

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with"

I am never lonely in that case, often I delve into musings about myself and the world around me.

Yesterday as I was reading through my previous post which I must admit was the result of an unorganized mind typing away incoherent events, I noticed a seemingly trivial line that described me as being 'super chilled' at present. On introspecting a bit I realized that the essence of that word had taken a long while to take root in me in it's entirety.

Until about a year back, I was a different person. I used to worry a lot. Think and rethink every activity. Morning would find me mulling over what the day could have in store for me. I would worry about other people's opinions if I did something different. I would be tensed about adjusting if i had to get to a new places or meet new people, think a lot before I could try something new. All the good and bad would be balanced by me before arriving at any decision.

In short, let me say that every action of mine was governed by my sense of appropriateness.

But lately i have discovered the secret of letting myself free of worry and it has been a very joyous experience since then.

This doesn't necessarily translate into me going around doing any God forbidden thing and not paying the least regard to it's consequences. But there is a certain freedom i have experienced since when I have let myself free to explore new avenues and imbibe new ways of thinking and exploring situations.

I now do things I never did before. I bunk office to roam around with friends, i write little thank you notes for people when they least expect it, I try to be a better friend by not letting my own priorities get in the way.

I have now learnt that true friendship comes with some amount of sacrifice. If i expect someone to be a friend, i need to be one myself too. This old adage i have now known with experience.

I have learnt that admitting my mistakes wont make me inferior, instead it sets me free to hold my head up and look the world in the eye.

I have learnt that a person should have some principles in her life. Something you believe in and won't let sway with what other people say about it.

I have now learnt to forgive myself, if i do something wrong. What has been done is over, gone , a mere memory now. And it's upto me how i want to use that memory, whether to enstrengthen me or enervate me.

I have learnt that life won't always give u what u expect from it, but in the process of depriving you of temprorary gains, leaves you enriched with such wisdom as would not have gained from elsewhere. And every experience we've had has happened for a reason that we would realize long after. But everything always does happen for the good, no matter how much we think it didn't.

There is really no point in worrying. Hasn't Jesus said that not one man can add a single minute to their life by worrying about it. Why dwell in glooom when one can choose to be exuberant.

I have now known that life isn't really a race as they taught us, it's not about forgetting other's in yor desire to acheive or win, but it's about strengthening others and helping them run with you!

A Weekly Update

2010-01-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

Time to quickly jot down all that has happened in the week.

New qualities learnt:

1) Procrastination: I am getting very good at it. How? Simply by doing nothing.

Scores of thing to do and i am putting it off right till the last minute. High time i get started with them.

2) Being super chilled: I just don't worry these days, somehow worry seems so unwanted an activity in our lives. Bas aaj ka jashn banate raho :) Totally celebrating the present.

What kept me busy:

The MGOCSM zonal conference is in our church this time. So saturdays and sundays pass in a flurry of creative activities, which involve sitting with a bunch of friends and eating biscuits at 9 in the night and lamenting on the lack of funds to support the conference.

Various Options we have thought of to procure the funds :

1) Ask Father to announce in church the need for large hearted sponsors to fund the event.

2) Personally ask people who we think are large hearted for funds to sponsor the
event.

3) Convince the not so large hearted people that they are indeed very magnanimous and ask them for funds.

Everything about our conference is about large hearts, which is probably the reason why it is on the 14th of February - the most celebrated day of red hearts and little pointed arrows.

Say how many teenagers and above would forsake spending time with their girlfriends or boyfriends on this romantic day and actually come attend this conference with us in Church from morning till evening.

The theme for this conference is 'The Love Of God' which is no surprise because of the whole Valentine's day thing.

A spot of Reflection: Yet another Valentine's Day that will be spent without a romantic incursion. Wonder if i am being too idealistic.

My new scooty goes vroooooom.....

2009-12-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

I just so love my new scooty - a Honda Dio. It has such fine acceleration. I mean compared to the old Kinetic that i was used to , this is charming. Old Kinetic was little stiff with age. It needed to be coaxed a few times before it volunteered to accompany me. This younger one is brimming with enthusiasm and starts purring the minute i press the start button.

It's a pity i cant use it to travel to office in Pune. Mom has confined the scooty's limits to Mumbai alone. Its gonna be the good old rickety six seater to office then. The whole of Pune is filled with them. They look like monstrous rickshaws. Though the seating capacity is 6, the drivers force in at least 10.

Well if u look at it positively, rickshaw pooling at least helps save the environment! Way to go monstrous rickshaws!!

Something i found interesting: The Honda Dio is named after Dyonisiac or Cupid, the Greek god of love and son of Venus . So yippeee Cupid is with me with his bow and arrow.. what does this translate into ?? ;D

.

Christmas or X'mas ?

2009-12-24T11:44:00.001-08:00

The sermon in church tonight was about the relevance of Christ's birth in our lives. About how we have both knowingly and unknowingly separated Christ from the Christmas. Christmas today is just another celebration. Achen put it as 'Christmas' being no longer a standalone noun, it's almost always used in conjugation with some other noun which shadows Christmas like christmas cake, christmas party, christmas decorations, christmas father and so on.

I remember a skit we had once performed. The idea was the same.

A christmas card maker once got an order to photograph the 'Best Christmas Card' ever. Exhilarated, he calls up all the actors. He calls up Mary and asks her to bring baby Jesus from the cresh. He calls up Joseph. With just these three the card looked plain. So he put in sheep and goats and cows. It still looked dark and gloomy to him. And so he pondered on ways to make it better. He then brought in a tree and decorated it with the brightest lights. He got in balloons and streamers. He called up Santa Claus and asked him to come along with his elves and reindeers and sleigh. He got in flashy gifts and mistletoe and candles. With all this in, the frame wasn't sufficient to contain all of them. As the addendums kept increasing Jesus, Mary and Joseph kept getting pushed out. Finally the photographer thought it perfect and when he clicked the shot which was to be the best Christmas card ever, Jesus was no where in sight in the frame. This play was a hit, people took home a message similar to the one dispensed today. Christmas has become X'mas - we have crossed out the Christ in it.

Let's keep Christ the protagonist in our Christmas activities and celebrate in a way Jesus would want us to. Let us endeavor to make this Christmas beautiful for someone else too. May Love and Charity be the hallmark of this Christmas season.

Wish u all a wonderful Christmas.

.

A warm thought for the season.

2009-12-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

The season of love and joy is here. We have all been busy singing carols, exchanging gifts, decking the tree and shopping for that perfect Christmas outfit. I was no stranger to this and so yesterday night when i came home from Pune and switched on the computer, the message on my desktop struck a chord in my heart. Whether dad had changed the desktop to this particular message on purpose, I didn't ask him. But it was something i needed to practice this Christmas season.

Here it is for u :

Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, Forgiveness.

To an opponent, Tolerance.

To a friend, Your Heart.

To a customer, Service.

To all, Charity.

To every child, a Good Example.

And to yourself, Respect.

Signing off for breakfast... Merry Christmas folks!!

.

Divide and Rule... even God was not spared.

2009-12-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

I was reading up a bit on the history of the church. There were schisms in the church,i realized as early as the fifth century AD. I feel that this was bound to happen when each group of people interpreted Christ's doctrine in their own way. I wonder if the church was split up only due to some obdurate ministers who weren't willing to accept any other idea but their own. However accepting all ideas would again lead to no consistency in the church, it would be like a irregular patchwork with different ideas glued unevenly to hold them together. Had Christ anticipated that we would tear up his bride so. Whichever sect of Christianity we to, i feel that we are each responsible for dividing the Church.

.

On getting back...

2009-12-19T10:44:00.000-08:00

I finally blogged after a long break. It's good to see some new content once a while. I just cannot understand the reason why i am writing three posts in one night :)

it's probably because once i start writing,i find that i have much to say and describe things that happen around me and happen to me.

I have purchased a few more books. Mein kampf, Jinnah and Pride and Prejudice. I still find that i am partial to classics. I need to read some new (classic) authors :D

there is always a struggle to read books on current issues an history and philosophy, but i find a lack of passion in me. A friend has given me a book 'Rome sweet Home' i was supposed to have started reading it by now, but it's still lying in my bag :P

I am soo lazy... Garfield and I would have been great friends :D

.

Mumbai rocks !

2009-12-19T10:24:00.000-08:00

A couple of my friends and I went to Crawford market today. The place was so crowded that to in order to from one side of a 10 feet wide street to the other, we had to dodge traffic for nearly a minute. We were in the wholesale section of the bazaar. Crawford market is the best place in Mumbai that i have seen till date for huge shopping discounts. This place is full of narrow gulleys and winding roads. You will many people thronging the streets and shops, along with laborers pushing cartloads goods to be sold from the go-downs to the retail shops.

We were searching for good Christmas decorations and we weren't the least disappointed. There were so many articles multicolored streamers, santa clause caps, X'mas trees and a plethora of decorations with chiming bells and glittering stars. The prices quotes in these shops were nearly half of those quoted in shops in Miraroad.

We also went to Zaveri bazaar, where there are lines of shops selling exquisite jewellery made of beads, pearls, gold, diamonds and everything. I made a mental note to visit this place before my wedding :P

We then found our way to fashion street in Colaba. Bought some stuff really cheap from the streets. Street shopping is so much fun, especially with friends. Those who aren't from Mumbai shouldn't miss this if they get an opportunity to 'shop till u drop' :D

It's great to roam around in churchgate and colaba. The old colonial British buildings, the cobbled streets and the amazing shopping options make this place an excellent hangout. Five stars to the townside !!!

.

2009-12-19T09:32:00.000-08:00

I was bored of seeing the color scheme on my blog,and so decided to put in some lighter pastels. I like the effect. Change is always good but sometimes change is good only temporarily ;)

Time for some Water Sports !!!

2009-08-20T02:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, Pune experienced some heavy rainfall after a long while. Thunderclaps and lightning kept awakening us intermittently and each time we dug deeper into our sheets and buried our ears into the pillows. We slept well despite the current failing in the middle of the night. It was a cool and pleasant night.

Each day, my roommate awakens at 7:00 am, the first in our household. After she is done with her morning ablutions, she awakens me.

This morning she awakes and shrieks in horror, “Paaaaani”

My sleepy self assumed that there was water leaking from the tap and I asked her to go close the taps.

She however continues in spasmodic interjections, “Water”, Paaani”, “Utho”, “Dekho”,”Oh No”…

The gravity of the situation strikes me then. I conclude that she is drowning.

I jump out of the bed, blanket in hand and think of a source of water large enough to drown a 5ft, 3” girl.

With my otherwise fertile imagination, failing me at this crucial moment, I just decide to follow the sound of her shrieks. She happens to be in the adjacent bed room, screaming over the remaining people sleeping..

“Paaaani” …“Uthhooo”… “Uthhooo” …

I wondered if this was a new form of alarm she devised of rousing us up. My brain comes up with this brilliant risk mitigation strategy. I decided that maybe if I covered her up with the blanket she would calm down and stop yelling!

And just when I was about to cast the blanket over her head, it happened.

I slipped!
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………”… “Ouch”!

What was happening, I was confused and wet, was I drowning???

I frantically managed to get up and looked around and then it struck me - Our house was flooded with ankle deep water.

Phew!!!

We looked around for the source of the miscreance and realized that the balcony drainage was blocked and the rain water with no where to escape decided to seep in from under the door and out into the hall and continued its arduous journey into our kitchen and the bed rooms. On its way it watered out the TV set, the mattress in the hall, our books, our little electric kettle and our iron. So much for irrigation!

And then began the tiresome labor of four girls fighting against the water. (Which fought back quite valiantly, I must say)

But then by getting down on all fours and fighting with brooms, mops and funny looking aids given by our “ever so helpful” neighbours (note the abundant sarcasm), we conquered the water. We emerged victorious albeit drenched and dripping. But we won!!!

Overall, this morning was fun, all we needed were some beach balls and swimming costumes, that would have completed the party!

Mega Mart

2009-07-21T05:30:00.001-07:00

Life is an unpredictable teacher. It will teach you many important lessons in strange ways, at unexpected moments.

Yesterday, a friend and I went shopping at Mega Mart. While waiting for some alterations to be made to the new purchases, we visited the food court in the mall to indulge our famished selves. As we gulped down the delicious viands, I noticed a young, married couple entering the foodcourt. The woman held a kid in her arms. Their humble dressing clashed with the flashy ambience and the grandly clad folks around.

The couple seemed apprehensive about venturing in, and cast nervous glances about them. Tiptoeing their way to the counter they glanced up at the oversized menu hanging overhead. On seeing the exhorbitant prices, the husband gently pulled the wife's hand and led her out of the restaurant.

It made me think about the begone days when our parents had to cut out on many of their joys inorder to provide for us, inorder to ensure that our future be bright. Every bit that they held up..stored up..restraining themselves on unwanted expenditures, all thinking that their children might have a bright future.

And how recklessly we spend money now, throwing it away on luxuries. Maybe we ought to think how this money came to us in the first place, the prices paid, the struggles undertaken by our parents in the past. It's time that we made them feel special and pamper them, rather than selfish indulgences on our part.

.

On books and reading

2009-07-16T05:16:00.001-07:00

I've recently shifted to a large 2 bedroom flat in Pune. There are four of us from the same college. Lately we have been thinking of purchasing a TV, to alleviate boredom during the hours between dinner and sleeping.

One night, I was reading the book 'The Argumentative Indian' which discusses the rich history of India, developed from a long tradition of open discussion and debating. One of my roomie decided to join me and together we peruse the book, delving into the depths of Indian history, sharing our knowledge and learning much more in the process.

I invited the other roomies to join in, but they were reluctant to the extent of feigning sleep.

Makes me wonder why is the pursuit of knowledge so tiresome to people. Why is reading considered to be so uncool an activity... Why do people hate books? Trivial humor, gossipping, soaps on tv are all a part of living. But when the mind is only open to such cheap forms of entertainment and is not involved in the process of enlightenment and enrichment, then don't we devolve from being the most intelligent of the species...Shouldn't life be aimed at gaining knowledge and contributing to the progress of society and of mankind at large.

.

The Cycle of Life.

2009-04-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

All of a sudden, I began floating. My body was light, wispy and formless. I could bend and twist myself into various shapes with utmost ease. Golden sunlight was penetrating my entire being, I realized that I was translucent.

Is this what happens, I wondered, when we pass from one state of being to another. I had heard about it but had never believed. But now, I had to believe. We change forms but we continue to exist. We carry onwards with our Journey.

I knew I was moving. To where, I didn’t really know. It was like being led or pushed by some unknown force. I felt I was floating in the air.

I looked down and there I saw the very place I had lived my entire life. I could make out my home, my family. The friends I had known, the places I had been to. My entire life flashed before my eyes.

The boy who had wanted water and had come searching for me. My proud and haughty self ran away from him. I never bothered to find out what happened to the thirsty boy.

The little children who came to sail paper boats in me. I didn’t like them putting their muddy hands in me and so I turned fierce and lashed upon them, till the frightened children ran away from me.

There were young women who came to bathe in me. They made a lot of noise and laughed a lot. Their voices overpowered my sweet, silvery voice. I didn’t like that. So I made the rocks in me very slippery and I became a dangerous place to step in. The women all soon left me and my tinkling voice was heard again.

At one time, there were a lot of huge shady trees that stood around me and a number of birds that came twittering around the trees and drank from me. But the trees shed their dry leaves into me and made my crystal water dirty, the birds dropped seeds and feathers into me. I disliked being dirty and so I stopped watering the trees around me. They shriveled and dried up. And once again, I was a clean and beautiful.

As time passed everyone stopped coming near me. I grew very lonely. I had no one to talk to. No one ever delighted in hearing me sing in my silvery voice.

I called out to the little children and beckoned them to come play in me. But they said that I was dangerous. I called out to the birds in the sky to come and join their melodies with mine. But they called me selfish. I wished the young maidens would come near me and sing and laugh with me. But they had long ago learnt to avoid me.

I was all alone. But was at least alive.

After a few days I started feeling extremely uneasy. Piercing sun rays invaded me. I felt like I had turned into a hot water stream. I tried to hold myself together. But I began shrinking. I heard the passerby’s saying that it was summer and a stream that didn’t have trees shading it would soon die. They pitied me but no one came to help me.

I started crying and wailing, but all that could was heard was the sound of water boiling around me. I lost my enchanting form, my tinkling voice. It became torrid and nauseating. I began losing my form. I soon lost consciousness. And here I am when I woke up. I am no more a lake. I have now become what I believe is a cloud.

I made a terrible mistake in my life. My actions led me to where I am today. My pride caused my fall. If I could only get one more chance, I would be kind and generous. I would have all my friends back. I had once heard that the cycle of life goes on. Maybe I would get a chance to correct all the mistakes I made…just maybe..

“Granma, can we go play in the lake outside”, asked Chintu.
“Yes dear, you all can go out.” said Lata, the grand-mother of the little children.

The children ran out to the lake in joy with little paper boats in their hands.

“You know Mother, when I was a young girl and wanted to go bathe in the lake, the rocks there were very slippery and it was a very dangerous place to go to.” said Jaya, the children’s mother to Lata.

“But now it’s the most enchanting place in the village, there are so many trees surrounding it and people from all over come to it to fetch water. I cannot believe it’s the same lake. It’s seems like the lake repented for its past behavior and in this rainy season it has come back to continue what it had left then. The cycle of life goes on, doesn't it Mother? ” continued Jaya.

“Don’t be silly Jaya.” scolded her mother. “You are a grown woman now. Lakes are inanimate objects, they don’t repent like we humans do. They do not have life.“

.

A bus ride with an 8 year old :)

2009-02-24T06:36:00.001-08:00

I was travelling by bus on a Sunday evening. Sitting beside me was a woman who might have been in her early thirties and wedged in the small gap between us was a particularly talkative son of hers. A fine 8 year old lad.

As the bus kept moving and the boy kept chirping, I couldnt but help ask him his name.

"Rohit", came the quick reply. And yours?" asked the eager boy.

AFTER a round of introduction and my attempts to explain to an 8 year old what my job was,I asked him 'So Rohit, what do you want to be when you grow up?'

"A rocket Scientist" came the prompt reply.
"And what will you do after becoming a rocket scientist?" asked the inquisitive Infoscion.
"I will roam around all the planets and my photo will come in all the papers, with the helmet on my head", chirped Rohit.

We parted at the Mysore city bus stand. Rohit and his mom walked to the right and I headed left to meet my friends.

I didn't think much of this until late in the evening when my mom called up and asked me what my future plans were.

"An MBA, mom",i said with the usual lacklustre tone I adopt when she discusses my future plans.

And it was then that it struck me.

I was once that 8 year old child with big dreams. I had wanted to be a famous heart surgeon or a renowed scientist who would find the cure for some deadly disease.
I seeked fame and honour. And unlike now, I was enthusiastically ready to work for it.
There was nothing that could dampen my spirits then.
I had the audacity to ask life to throw its best at me and I was sure that I would fight back and win!!!

Havent we all been like that 8 year old boy?

A child with big dreams for the future, a confidence brimming from within us.
A charming zest for life, for each day. Looking forward with widened eyes and eager hands.

Then why is it that as we grow up we slowly let our spirits dampen, we get complacent with whatever we have. The urge to reach out for more gradually ebbs away.
Does the reality of life strike us so hard, that we just cannot recover from that?
Where is that driving force within us? Why do we live such that we barely manage to pass though each day...

Doing so we are committing a crime against our own selves.
We are supressing the joy within us by shrouding it under layers of worries and obligations.

True, as we grow up we become aware of our responsibilities and chores, but we also need to be aware of that inherent joy within us.

The joy with which we once woke up every morning and leapt out of bed..the joy with which we made friends..with which we ate our food...with which we sought new things.. The joy that once made the world look nice and friendly to us.

Indeed, we may claim that we have become wiser than our 8 year old selves, but the wisest among us is the one who can still look at life, its challenges and then throw his head back and laugh.. with the enthusiasm of an 8 year old child racing against the wind!

Beauty is all around me :)

2009-01-09T03:55:00.000-08:00

When I first entered the Mysore campus at Infosys, I was stunned at the beauty all around me. The magnificent buildings, I had only seen on the Internet, the lush green lawns, the pink bougainvilleas grazing the hostel walls, multicolored arrays of leaves, bright flowers peeking from in between velvety sheets of green grass, wide roads and a calm aura pervading the atmosphere. Blissful, beautiful surroundings.

As I sit writing this, I realize with a mix of both joy and surprise that I have been here for more than 3 months now. Surprise at the quick passage of time. With every tick of the clock, Time surges ahead, both through good days and bad. It’s a very funny thing about time, when I stand at the threshold of a new month, it seems long and winding. But when I glance back at the bygone days they seem but a mere breath of time. Was to be here but gone soon before I know it. There is also the joy that with three months done, the training here is soon going to end and hopefully I’ll be posted in Pune, nearer to my lovely hometown.

The reason for this post is that over these 3 months, all the beauty of this place gradually began fading before my eyes. Each day as I walked to and fro the GEC and my hostel with images of assignments and projects floating around my mind, every art of nature lost its charm, soon nothing around me was beautiful.

I forgot that I was actually living in a place, I had dreamt of being in for nearly a year.
Yesterday, I received a mail, a winding road lying admist brilliant orange foliage. I gazed at it struck by its spectacular beauty and wished that I were there – walking.. moving, existing in that paradisiacal Eden..

But then again what if once I get there, I lose delight in my paradise. What if life’s responsibilities and duties blind my eye to these rapturous visions of nature. What kind of sad dilemma would I be in! I would keep dreaming of bliss and on attainment of that bliss, I would inure myself to it. All the beauty of the world would over time be just a mundane landscape. A frightening thought!!

I mulled over this before writing this post and here’s what I realized.
Beauty is all around us, each day, everywhere. There is beauty in nature; there is beauty in the people all around us. There is beauty in what we say, there is beauty in what we do. All we gotta do is at times pause in between our daily chores and remind ourselves of it. Beauty or for that matter happiness or love is not to be sought at distant places, its right where we are. It you don’t find it here, chances are that you’ll never find it elsewhere. It comes to us in various forms often touching us in ways we don’t realize until at some time in a moment of retrospection your eye opens to it and you realize how blessed you have been all along. And such times may just inspire you to spread that beauty around you.

.

Life at Infy

2008-11-14T07:13:00.000-08:00

It’s been more than a month in Mysore now. Life is very different now than it used to be back home. The perks of independent living that I had fantasized about don’t seem to exist in real life in the same degree.

I missed my brother’s engagement in Pune. I had two days to be at home for the wedding . I hardly got to know my sis in law. I miss my family, I miss mom. Food I disliked at home have now become delicacies here. The winters here are colder than at back home. Solitary night walks back to the hostel on days when friends are too busy, make me feel lonelier.

It’s not that life is bleak or cheerless. There are fun stuff to do too. But I have been wondering whether it’s worth staying away from home.

After nearly a month of going to a Catholic church and attending English mass on Sundays, I finally found an Orthodox church yesterday and attended the Malayalam mass. Had a very spiritually invigorating experience in Church. Maybe it just felt good to be a part of something that reminded me of home. Somehow the English mass didn’t work with me.

There are three more months to go in Mysore. Training is pretty easy. We do like complaining of long working hours, but that’s because we spend much of the time before 5 playing games and chatting.

Blogging is difficult here. Infy has blocked all our sites and many proxies too. We gotta find newer ones, which they eventually will block too.

I guess that since I have chosen to do this, I might as well do it with a smile. Maybe I could make good use of the free movies on the weekends and the various games and sports Infy has organized. A change of attitude would definitely work for the good.

.

When you dream a hope...

2008-09-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

Dreams are different from hopes. A dream is what forms in our unconscious probably from events in our conscious. A hope is what we wish and desire for. I 'dream' about eating chocolate icecream with chocolate sprinkles and caramel sauce. I 'hope' i can get into the 9:58 train today. Its only when a hope is so very intense that it precolates into our subconsious and it transmutes into a dream. Then now its no longer a dream, nor is it simply a hope. It becomes an ardent goal reigning over our conscious, sub conscious and unconscious. It becomes a passion, a rage, a fury within us.

Dreams may not be fulfilled. Hopes may not materialize. But the Passion within you the Union of a hope and a dream... all the energy in the world will help you acheive that.

Why do we get saddened when dreams are not fulfilled. Dreams are weak, ineffectual. Just don't let the passion ebb. Because the beauty in our lives is that even through our unfulfilled dreams and wistful hopes, our Passion surges ahead to acheive our Goal.

- Incoherent thoughts stemming from an addled mind.

.

The Boy, the Smile... Me n You...

2008-09-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

There are about 6.7 billion people living on earth as on September 2008, I read in Wikipedia. And I was, I thought, just one among them.

Although I am but a tiny mite among this vast sea of humans, I am a highly complex universe in myself. We all are. Every single person goes through each day with a lot of anxieties and responsibilities. Deadlines and submissions. There are decisions to take, committments to be made, bills to be paid. There are promises left unfulfilled, things left unsaid, tasks left undone. Every person has cocooned themselves with obligations. .

But while we wind our way each day through this maze that we've made of our lives, it would be good if we sometimes stopped and thought about what we are landing ourselves in. Is our self centered world all that we need to care about? Are we indeed as important as our egoistic self convinces us. Is our life any more important than our neighbour's?

Why do we stare with insouciance when at news of explosions happening around the world? Why don't we shed a tear when we learn that thousands of innocent people are being tortured and murdered in the name of religion. Why can't we offer more than just a sigh when we hear about disasters killing thousands. Were these people any less important than us.

Why do we still hurry on to catch the next train if we witness an accident on the tracks. Aren't they too people with families like us. Don't they too have people somewhere who would be mortified to hear about the accident. Couldnt we just stop and help. We might get late, yeah, but wouldn't we have thereby done something far more important.

Do we have to wait for such things to happen to us before we learn to feel for others. Are we getting so caught up in this materialistic world, that we let humanity die. Or was humanity always dead. Did we just coin this word to give credit to our race, to pretend that we are something we are not.

We needn't be Saints or acclaimed leaders of peace, to make a difference. All we need is to stop once a while and care for someone. And a difference is all that we need, however tiny that might be. One good turn that can lead to another. One smile that can be passed to another. One assurance that will sustain many others.

The reason that got me to write this, was a boy. A random boy on the streets of Dadar. He might be in his early twenties. And we were walking in opposite directions approaching each other. And a little girl selling rose flowers, who crossed his way, bumped into him.
This was 'Dadar' let me tell you, at 6 in the evening. People were frenetically hurrying about, returning from office. Hawkers and roadside sellers were hollering. Street kids and urchins were wandering about. A bewidering jungle of people there was.

And there in that cacophonous little gully in Dadar, this particular buy stops, lifts the little girl by her waist and gently places her one side of the street. He SMILES. Buys a little bunch of flowers and gives her a gentle nod asking her to take care of herself. The girl SMILES. I SMILE. We all SMILE...

A small happening on a little street in a tiny suburb. A boy, a flower girl and an observer. A smile sprang and spread. A blog post got entered. A remindance remains, imploring to the readers to spread that smile :)

Let's make a tiny difference too.

.

Cake Talk!

2008-08-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

Here's a literal, non circuitous title to this post...Cakes talking... !

Which cakes?? well, the ones i have tried baking.

Were they good?? Thats not the point here ("and yep they were" adds the narcissistic baker :D)

What do they talk? That's the rest of the discussion.

(Now with the above questonaire succesfully answered it'll help me stick to my original idea of the post.. lest i go wandering onto something else :D)

Off late.. i have acquired the habit of baking cakes.
Cakes baked without any reason just on a whim.. and of different kinds - chocolate, lemon, carrot and even a coconut cake!
The feeling of seeing the batter rise in the oven and turning into a delicacy is awesome. I love to bake fresh cakes and parcel them off hot to my neighbours , friends, aunts, uncles or whoever happens to come home that day..
Initially while i was still in the stage of perfecting this culinary skill... a few interesting cakes materialised..

Cake no. 1

Mishap: The first cake that i baked had a fluffy 'left half' and a soggy right half..
Reason for mishap: Baking powder wasn't evenly mixed with the flour, Resulting in over concentration of the leavening agent on one side of the cake.
My Interpretation: One must strive for excellence in every aspect of life. Directing all our skills into enhancing just only a part of our being is not wise. We humans come as a total package. Being too vain about external appearances and disregarding the inner appearance of one's soul is foolish. So is concentrating too much on the inner self and intellectual and projecting a foppish sight to the world a crime. Let the inspiration for success permeate our entire being. Half risen cakes cannot be shared with anyone. They neither taste good nor look good.

Cake no. 2

With the earlier experience in mind, i tried again..this time sifting the flour well with the baking powder.
Mishap: A cake with a centre dip
Reason for mishap: Mysterious! No idea.
What happened: While i conveyed the news of the weird 'U shaped' cake to Renu... she simply loved it.. "A cake with a dip in the middle!!!! wow.. now all the chocolate frosting will be in the centre...mmm.. lovely!!!" Now that i have learnt to make proper cakes, renu still insists on the ones with a dip in the centre..

Lesson learnt: No matter how u r.. there will always be someone who loves you and adores you. And so should we be when we judge others.. focus on the best and beautiful qualities in people.. The rest really isn't that important.. endeavor always to make life worth living.. no one is perfect..but each person is endowed with fascinating qualities that can outshine the imperfections.

Cake no. 3:

Mishap: Glazed Lemon cake.. with too much of lemon zest in it.
Reason for mishap: Underestimating the power of lemon zest.
How it came about: I had delicious little lemon cakes at my aunt's place and simply loved the whiff of lemon in a cake.
Lesson learnt: Even the best of things when in excess spoils it. My pathetic attept at mallu reiteration of my mom " Amruthavum adhikam aaya..adh vesham aanu" Finally , learnt this lesson first hand.

Cake no: 4

Mishap: None! A perfect cake, nice and fluffy, smelled great..tasted wonderful.
Lesson: Practice does make you perfect :)

.

I know I went back on my word..but cudn't resist penning this down

2008-08-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

I dont really like weddings...
I mean I can appreciate the happiness of the couple getting married... what i meant was the social, celebratory pomposity that surrounds it..

This leads me to a digressive quandary.. are couples who are getting married really happy?
Because in the case of a typical 'arranged marriage' in India, the groom and the bride hardly know each other!
In the best of cases they must have conversed over the phone a couple of times, seen a few pics and if they are lucky enough, they must have laid eyes on each other before giving the "I do" deference to their parents..
But this sure doesn't seem enough reason for entering into such a profound bond..
Then why do they get married.. is it a social necessity.. is it the fear of loneliness.. persuasion by parents??

C'mon think of it.. Havent we all come across people who seem splendid companions during the first few interactions.. but as u get to know them closely and as u peel off the outer layers of pretence that enshrouds every person, you begin seeing aspects of their personality that you didnt realize existed...

So when do you actually get to know a person completely?
Probably that just depends on how well the person masks his inner self and fakes a false demeanor.
Sometimes the reason why people mask their inner self is when they get 'infatuated'
During this stage you try to be as attractive as you can be to the object of your infatuation.. all you need is to possess it. .and when u reach a stage when the infactuation wears off.. so will the fake veil you've been wearing...

Well.. if my theory makes even an iota of sense then it implies that one can never get to know a person completely before marriage.
This perforates into two solutions...

1) Either you never get married, because if you do, then somewhere down the lane you are gonna be dejected. You won't be left with the person you thought you knew before marriage.

2) Or you could just go ahead and tie that knot.. and try to be the best companion you can be to your partner knowing fully well that he/she won't be perfect.. all you have to do is to understand their imperfections and appreciate them inspite of it..

I wonder if the latter is what they call 'Love'...

.

2008-08-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

A note for those (very few ppl) who keep enquiring about the dormant state of this blog..
Further posts will begin appearing only after the 8th of September :)
Reason will continue remaining a mystery to those to whom it has not yet been revealed :D

.

Lemme Dance Tonight!

2008-08-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

Another day is drawing to an end.

Another beautiful day which even in these ebbing hours is echoing with the mirth of the laughter of my friends... of songs sung by a crazy bunch of twenty and something year olds who should never venture to do so in front of an audience, unless it's of six close friends who will join in perfect cacophony and yet continue till each has contributed a benevolent share in the discord... A day of cakes and celebrations... of claps and hugs...

I am beset with such inner radiance tonight that the moonlight filtering through the glass panes of my room feel far pale in comparison. Yep it might sound hyperbolic.. but there is something wonderful about this day , this moment. I really cannot explain the reason for such an enigmatic bliss... maybe its because of the bonding with my family and relatives.. or maybe because of the company of such wonderful friends.. or maybe I just want to be happy... whatever it be.. I am soo totally in love with life today...

With each ticking of the clock, my hold on today is releasing like water cupped in my hands trickling from between my fingers. But I don't hold too tight, I just let it flow. I am ecstatic about a new day to call today. I hope for even more laughter, even more love. I hope for spending more time with my family. I hope for newer friends. I hope for seeing more of this gorgeous world we live in...

Rereading this post i feel that it might seem whimsical to the reader, but i needed to scribble this down... you just can't help it when your heart starts dancing :)

.

What was that again !

2008-07-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Its time to unleash my frustrations at the world again and since YOU just happen to be reading it, I am going be targeting it specifically at YOU.. yep YOU - the innocuous scapegoat caught unawares in the sticky web of a despondent arachnid!!!

Hmmm..that reminds me that since I'll be the one reading my posts the most frequently..aren't these frustrations going to clout back at me time and again..
What use wud that possibly serve?????

The girl listening to herself nag, and grumble and pester! It's gonna be a unholy meddle of lamentations.. phew utterly lame idea for a post.

A wiser thing to do at this ungodly hour might be to snuggle under the covers, turn off the light and introspect and maybe retrospect and slowly plummet into a dream of variegated shapes and colours and thoughts eventually subliming into nothingness!

Moral of the post: Dysphoric times aren't exactly the best to transpire literary brilliance !

.

Fond Rememberances

2008-07-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

It has been some time now since my last post. Much has happened. Much has been lost and
much witnessed. Upon each turning page of time has been imprinted new memories.. Memories that overshadow happier times and replace them with a cold frightening scare which at some moments loomed in the very air I breathed.

Times of bereavement are harshly painful. A saga of sweet memories drown me in waves of nostalgic agony.. Each prick of a dear rememberance brings fresh tears.
Old utterances, jokes and stories... Lullabies that once rhythmed a wrinkled hand which rocked a young girl to sleep... Eyes which once sparkled on seeing his grand daughter's antics... A steel watch... An old smile...

...These i'll never forget. I'll miss him.

.

Artistic Ventures :P

2008-06-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Random Thoughts and Random Issues - Product of a frustrated mind that wasn’t appeased with 'Almond Fudge' ice cream today..hmph..

2008-06-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

Issue 1: Calvin and Hobbes

Alrite, why aren’t people I know appreciating the humor in this strip. It’s not just subtle humor…it’s the hit in your face kind of humor , the ROFL kinda humor, the ‘wow…this boy is simply amazing’ kind of humor ... Obviously, Calvin is a 6 year old Genius, a child prodigy if I may and Hobbes is his faithful companion in sickness n health and, in joy and sorrow, in laughter and tears…. that is till the washing machine does them apart. And then Hobbes comes out all clean and squeaky and pulls his tongue at Calvin, who has d uncanny ability to remain dirty at all times.
Alrite now this isn’t some review on C&H… just a mockery on those people who dont possess whaddya say a whit of intelligence to appreciate this strip.
There have been four people whom I have tried to introduce this cartoon strip to.
Let’s call them Mic, Hel, Ang and Elo

Jolly: hey read this strip …its kinda amazing
Mic: sure
Jolly: (after a while) so whaddya think?
Mic: Think of what????
Jolly: *#@ $@#$@#(*$!!!

Hel : “So what are you upto?”
Jolly: excitedly “Been reading a hilarious cartoon strip of this boy genius, haven’t seen such a refreshing change in cartoon ….”
Hel:” hmmm”
Jolly: “ Calvin is this self proclaimed ‘Boy of Destiny’ whose mission at times is to save the world with help from his alter egos, Spaceman Spiff and Stupendous Man”
Hel: “hmmm”
Jolly:” And Hobbes is his faithful sidekick who… “ goes on…
Hel: “hmmm “
Jolly: “I tell you Hel, its brilliant…shall I lend you a copy?”
Hel:” Wanna watch Sarkar Raj today?”
Jolly: “Performs a ‘Her foot striking Hel’s cheek stunt –full Karate style’
Hel staggers and falls backward, implores for mercy and promises to be all ears in the future.

Self reflection 1: Obviously the part of Jolly’s brain that conjures a chimerically absurd imagination is still vibrant and ticking...

And Ms. Impatience Personified can’t bear to go ahead with the chronicles of Ang and Elo. Its left open to the Imagination of the reluctant readers, who so very much didn’t wanna read this post but was poked into doing so to avoid her highness’s feisty temperament…

Self reflection 2: Impatience Personified and Me??????? Lemme get hold of that lil fish who had the nerve to call me so…!!!!

Issue 2: Her Highness is seemingly bothered.

Alrite I have been noticing that I begin quite a many sentence with ‘Alrite’ and it isn’t even spelled right.
Alrite, so no more using Alrites any more... phew!
Gosh online chatting has seriously hampered my spellings and punctuations.. two maxims my primary school English teachers tried hard to knock into me and had been pretty happy with the result. They had produced a perfect spelling champion…sigh.. only if we had a Spelling Bee contest in Mumbai.. (Yup, I do boast , bear with it! ) And all those days of poring over Wren n Martin to perfect my grammar… puuffff… its all gone now..!
So instead of wasting more time typing in junk that keeps getting more ludicrous by the moment.. lemme go read something that’ll help me clear the CAT or atleast the GRE…

So long then.. Adieus… and for those people who have reached this point in the post without skipping the hundred odd lines in the middle… DO LEAVE A COMMENT!

.

Rhapsodies of Dawn

2008-06-18T12:17:00.000-07:00

The morning found me gazing up with delight at d expanse of the gray skies.
I had woken up when it was still too early for morning activites.. resisting the urge to fall back on the bed, I tip-toed to my balcony - the coziest little niche at home..

My balcony is an abode for potted plants of poignant roses n shoeflowers which bear handsome yellow n red flowers... Birds namely pigeons, sparrows n mynahs land on the marbled floor on hot summer days to savor d water overflowing from d plants and have spirited warbles chronicling the events of the day.. until they spot me peeping from in between d curtains...
The interleaving of yellow, red n green hues at one corner..n d twittering of birds gives this corner a charming ambience.

From atop the balcony on the right one can see the main road leading to the railway station...on the left is a vast stretch of road that ends at a dense cluster of shrubbery which separates the tarred roads from the blue skies...
THAT is my Sunrise point...

If one is determined enough to awake in d early hours of morning even before the milkman rings the doorbell..then the spectacle from atop here is one to behold..

The deep red aura of the rising sun forms an ethereal backdrop for a gulmohar tree,which in the given season stands ripe with flaming orange flowers..

The cool morning air, the resplendence of the rising sun, the fiery youth of the gulmohar and the warble of hundreds of birds just awoken.. when beheld by a young girl who's imagination is distinguished for exponentiating every myriad form of beauty that has made acquaintance with her to a splendour thousand times more glorious than meets the eye... stands utterly awed!!

The Rain is here !

2008-06-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

It finally Rained...yipeeee ..i just luhv d rains!!!!!!!

Alright..now that was yesterday. At around 8 in the night..when i was struggling wid Robotics..trying to cram up equations and link diagrams.
I was kinda dizzy...there was lots left to revise and then revise once again..damn robotics was soo confusin (thankfully am done with it)

And it was then that i heard it..there was no mistaking..the sound of rainfall - the very first rainfall of the season...aaah!

I absolutely adore the rain.. in fact am one of those people who will walk through it rather than run.. I love watching the sodden clouds approach nearer... I love listening to the thrum of rain drops agains the glass panes... I love curling up on the sofa and sipping coffee on dark rainy afternoons... I love watching it drench the streets and leaves with sweet water..heavens satiatin the parched earth... I love the freshness and bounce of Life that rains brings!

There is something amazing about that sound, that smell..it brings back memories of my school days..The first day of school, clad in new uniform n bag n ofcourse d bright new umbrella..it always rained on the first day of school. We would come back home jumping in every puddle of water on the way..

alrite breaking away from the delves of nostalgia...I shall narrate the scene i witnessed from atop my balcony...

There were all sorts of people on the street below. People returning home after a tiring hot day, mothers out with their kids, kids navigating their cycles thru d busy street, more kids playing in the complex, a couple strolling lost in their thoughts...

And then it poured all of a sudden and not just a gentle drizzle...there was lightning n thunder..ferocity..strong winds.. a spectacular fanfare to welcome the Rains..
The kids added in with shouts of glee. Many came out to their balconies with stretched hands like mine...to feel the first crystal drops of rain..

i just wished that i could be out in the rains then..cool cool droplets trickling down me !

The young couple ran to a nearby shelter..d girl pulled her dupatta over their head..dat flimsy material of the dupatta cud do nothing to save them from the rain..but what more a romantic setting could they have wished for..the two of them all wet under a dupatta..heavenly manna showering from d skies ;)

It rained continously and furiously.. while i sat lost in my own thoughts of chances of a deluge on the next day..train services being interrupted and exams getting CANCELLED!

However There was no flood, trains were not interrupted and the exams DID take place...so much for my hyper active imagination !

But as i returned from college today... one wish was nevertheless granted.. I came home totally drenched.. enjoying d kissing of rain drops every step towards home.. yup i have an enchanting love affair with the rain.. Thank you God for this wonder :)

College magazine...the Saga continues!!

2008-05-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

Not another one please..... Not yet another one of those rip offs!!! I mean how many articles can we search on Google and exclaim, "Phew, This one is lifted off the Net too!!" Having been in the magazine committee for two years now, I have seen sort of a pattern in its working.

It all begins when the publicity committee of the 'Iris' Magazine ventures on its yearly announcement routine, calling upon the talented writers and poets of the college to bedazzle us with their creativity and innovation. The 'Iris' magazine accepts almost everything ranging from poems and stories to spoofs, jokes and puzzles. But the only criteria we maintain is that the articles have got to be 'Original'.

Now there are many of the opinion that articles from the Internet, just appear there by chance and that no one has ever written them. They just appear out of thin air...Presto!... scores of words just arrange themselves randomly to form some of the best articles I have read.

Or they might agree with the theory that millions of monkeys typing away on a million keyboards can actually produce the complete works of Shakespeare! Whatever it be, we keep getting a number of articles every year all adroitly lifted off the Internet and submitted under the category of 'Original Articles'.

The 'original' articles soon start pouring in, chiefly in the form of poems. Now since no one in this committee has successfully read and memorized every single poem on the Internet, we really do not detect this fraud at first. These articles go through various stages of selection and approval by our editors... while we are left gaping at the literary genius of our classmates who have written such brilliant articles that even our wonderful editors take a beating.

Soon these poems reach the final stage of compilation and having pushed aside all the inferior articles authored by our not so 'ingeniously' gifted colleagues, are just moments away from gaining abode in our prestigious magazine when someone feels that he has read this poem before. Cats start meowing and scratching in the bag.

It can't be, some argue. Confused and a little scared since the deadline is drawing dangerously near, we approach Uncle Google. Five seconds and the entire poem flashes on the screen. We are shocked. This particular person had submitted two poems. We try the next. Lo and behold, there it is same till the last word. Finally after much struggling, scratching and biting, the cat is out of the bag!

Then starts a saga of checking each article for its authenticity. The poems are easily caught, but not so with the other articles. Some of them slip by, landing in the magazine and if any of you alert readers have ever caught one, profound apologies are offered by the Magazine Committee and thou art given total freedom to kick the author of that article where ever thou wisheth. However the Magazine committee shall not be held responsible for any untoward incident ;)

It is my earnest request to anyone frm my college who reads this that if you think you belong to Shakespeare's lineage or if you are just divinely inspired to give an article for the next year's magazine then puhleeeez - 'Stay Off the Net'. Just go pick up a pen or a damn keyboard for that matter and use your head to write something. Or if you have a million monkeys at your command you just know what to do. If you still can't come up with something good, you can write some rubbish similar to what you have just read. Whatever it is... let it be something 'Original'.

Bemusings....

2008-05-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

I sit and wonder, what it must be,
To sail along in the deep blue sea,
In a tiny yatch having seated myself,
There on the waters without any help.

As I ponder, I suddenly find,
I am no more in a room confined,
Am out there in the open seas,
Sailing along in the flowing breeze.

The waves of the ocean call out to me,
To come dance with them and be free,
To live a life of calm and peace,
Out there, in the deep blue seas.

Oh! How I wish to leave,
This life which has me confined,
If only, but I were to weave,
My destiny on the loom of time.

But, alas! It is not for me,
To weave my life or my destiny,
Just as the yatch would be forced to go,
Wherever the wind wishes to blow.

And as the wind would take command,
So too on my life reigns His supreme hand,
Of the Lord and Creator of heaven and land.

He isn't cruel, but only just,
In his love for me, I gotta trust,
He is the breath of my life, the wind of my sail,
I know for sure he'll never fail.

How happy I am, that I've learnt this truth,
In the very prime of my youth,
As the flow of a distant stream,
Awakens me from my noonday dream.

An inspiring Speech By Subroto Bagchi

2008-05-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

"Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people. It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives."
Here's the link to the rest of it : http://weblogs.asp.net/sbehera/archive/2004/08/25/220225.aspx

Recollections of Naadu

2008-05-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

It's official. Our ancestral home is gonna be torn down. The place i've spent almost all d summer holidays of my existence.

When i was a small kid, this house symbolised 'Naadu' to me.

The journey to Naadu was the 2-day journey in train. It began with packing bags at home, parents and brother lugging suitcases. Being the youngest in the family i used to carry the water bottle - 'The Kool Keg' - the big one used in the days of yore..when bisleri was a luxury or mebe it never even existed then.. am not quite sure.

Watching the big blue train arriving on the platform...I used to stand in great respect when it entered the platform accompanied by d hooting of a loud horn and a green flag being waved.. it almost looked like a giant monster to my childish imagination.. it had a face with two windows on d front symbolising eyes and a somewhat mouth like thing below.

I was in awe of the train. But once inside, it was home for me...yearly travel in this train had me familiarised with the interiors... climbing up n down d blue colored bearths... sitting near d window.. playing cards.. reading... expectantly looking around for other kids to play with... or might be to borrow a magazine.. playing Scrabble and Antakshri with my newly made friends... eating d lovely yellow rice, pickle n mor curry with chetai which mummy used to bring wrapped in banana leaves... yummy!!! I still carry home packed food in the train..no sensation is as wonderful as opening dat lil package..perched on the topmost berth..swaying with d lulling of d train.

Naadu was Appachan coming to receive us at the station. Dressed in his white shirt and white mundu...he was a frail figure..all the hard work in paddy fields had probably made him so. But he has taught me that a frail figure might belie great energy and strength on the inside.

Naadu was walking percariously on the 'canal manda' which used to substitute as a bridge over d paddy fields leading to the House. Naadu was watching the House approach nearer...the abode of my summer holidays...memories of d previous years come rushing to my mind..

Naadu was meeting my cousins..initailly a lil shy at first..the one year gap takes a lil time to bridge.. Hellos are exchanged...slowly my sister takes hold of my hand and leads me to show me her new evergreen plant n d marigolds n shoeflowers that have sprung up..

I start jabbering away in my hesitant malayalam...they understand it alrite.. !!

Meanwhile Chetai n Jins get together too..they are thinking of getting d cat into a leash... BOYS..phew!!
I try explaining dat cats dont like being in a leash...we watch as the boys set up a trap..meanwhile we hide d cat in the attic ;) Cats dont like d attic either..it refuses to say up there..Then we realize that cats are too smart for lil boys who are trying to noose them...It gets d bait but d boys are left holding up an empty noose!

Naaduu was long afternoons playing in d heat.. running in fields..playing cricket wid home made bats n balls - raw materials from coconut and rubber trees..playing hide n seek (my cousins used to hide on trees...highly unfair..)

Naadu was stealing 'maanga achar' and 'puli' from d kitchen n relishing it with salt in d verandah..

Naadu was sitting at home n watching it rain..cousins all huddled up...playing cards...

Naadu was having dinner on d old wooden table..with d cat rubbing between my ankles...

Naadu was searching the ancestral house for hidden treasure...

Naadu was poking dry coconut leaves in the 'aduppu'

Naadu was all those insects.. dat swarmed up near d candle..

Naadu was the daily power cut.. when the boys turned into ghosts thirsting for blood..

Naadu was getting scolded for screaming when one of the ghosts crept up behind u..

But things do change. Soon Naadu became a place absent of my cousins...everyone had to move away for job or studies...
Naadu became a shortened number of days - months disintegrated into a week.. four days.. sometimes even two...

Naadu turned into hearing that the house wud be demolished..the ancestral one..the one wid the attic where we hid cats...with all d imaginary ghosts still lurking inside...the old kitchen and the fireplace... the marigolds and the evergreens...

A leaf from dat evergreen plant... an ode to those days of childhood lies still..pressed in between the pages of the Bible...

And at such times when i see that leaf... Naadu comes back to me...

Things will change.. people may move away.. houses will be demolished... but Memories.. they remain on...!

Expectations!

2008-03-31T09:06:00.000-07:00

People should stop expecting things. Stop hoping ardently for something to happen. Quit eagerly awaiting anything in life. Why??? Because if that certain thing doesn't happen...it would leave you disappointed.

Disappointment is commensurate with Expectation. The higher the expectation the greater the disappointment. You expect someone to call and if he doesn't you become miserable. You expect people to be honest with you and if they aren't then you start doubting yourself. You feel let down by people you consider friends. Its not their fault, its merely a reflection of your own self. You expected a lot and when that expectation was not fulfilled, naturally disappointment would rush in. Expectation kills joy...no doubt about that. But further still.. expectation multiplies disappointment!

Wouldnt it be wonderful to live a life without expectations. I would expect nothing of any person in my life. If some thing good happens..then that would be splendid.. I would rejoice over that. But if something doesn't go well..there would be no disappointment because i had never expected anything out of it. However it turns out to be is exactly the way it was meant to be all along.

I am not hereby being a proponent of Fatalism. Fate I believe is crap!! All along in life, every second.. every moment I alone make the decisions in my life. My life is exactly what i made of it and I refuse to hold some unseen external force the scapegoat for it. Some people call this tremendously mighty source of unseen power as 'God' But even God doesn't coerce the Human will! Thats it. The Human will!! Its your will that lets you make decisions.

What i had meant was that the consequences of things when pre decided by you makes you prejudiced towards it. Like in the beginning of every relationship if i pre-decide that its gonna work out..i would naturally be prejudiced to that opinion and if it doesn't turn out as expected then misery would befall me and i would wallow in sighs of chagrin.

So all this brings me back to my goal in life. Happiness!!! The formula is simple.
"The lesser the sorrow, the greater the Joy :) "
So let me stop expecting and start living... sounds cliched??? aargh...i blame it on lack of good reading... :P

A Beautiful World

2007-09-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

A few lines I particularly remember are:

Doori kyon dilon mein rahe

faasle kyon badhte rahe

Pyaari hai zindagi hai pyaara jahaan

Rishte badi mushkilon sebante hai yahaan pe lekin

tootne ke liye bas ek hi lamha

And so passionate was the effect of these words on me that i picked up the phone and started calling up old friends with whom i hadnt spoken with in a long time.. recollecting old memories.. old jokes..and to top it all ...it rained.. silent drops of water falling from the skies :)

Life is good :)

Simplicity

2007-08-31T21:33:00.002-07:00

I like keeping things simple. That's the way I am. Unnecessary details makes life unduly complicated. Let me take an example to explain my point.

There is a line in a post on this blog that goes like this :

"I like looking at the stars, feeling the cool breeze caressing my face and wondering at the expanse of the sky."

Now that's simple. A simple person making a simple statement about what she likes. A very sublime expression leaving the rest to the imagination of the reader. The mind is put to rest. Everyone is happy. Everything is peaceful.

Not so with my brother though, who insists on making life unncecessarily complicated. He puts in his own version:

"I like looking at the stars, feeling the cool breeze caressing my face and wondering about the Hypergeometrical Universe and Time Quantization and Neuro Electron HyperSpherical Shock-Waves that occur in quasars billons of light years away. This definitely makes me feel how insignificant a creature I am. "

Now isn't this an unnecessary hurdle in the smooth flow of one's thoughts. I mean, what am i gonna get thinking and pondering about some explosions and shock waves occuring a billion light years away?? It will only succeed in making a perfectly happy person bewildered. It will get him to fractically turn around left and right. He will ransack his brains for an answer, muddle his thinking and end up boiling his watch and staring at the egg instead, with all due respect to Newton. (Those who aren't yet familiar with the 'Newton boiling his watch' story need to improve on their reading of absolutely useless matters)

But here Einstein himself in all his scientific splendour comes to my timely rescue.. A certain quote by him leads me to believe that his viewpoint might have been the same as mine all the time. He said:

Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.

And so with utmost courage and all the genius in me I continue moving in the opposite direction ;)

When I dance, I dance,

when I sleep, I sleep;

yes,

and when I walk alone in a beautiful orchard,

if my thoughts drift to far-off matters

for some part of the time,

for some other part

I lead them back again to the walk,

the orchard,

to the sweetness of this solitude,

to myself.

Things I like

2007-08-31T21:33:00.001-07:00

I like long walks in the evening surrounded by close friends.

I like drinking coffee... coffee always cheers me up :)

I like sitting up at night and thinking over everything that has happened during the day.. over things that have made me happy and things that have made me even happier...

I like looking at the stars, feeling the cool breeze caressing my face and wondering at the expanse of the sky.

I like eating ice creams.. lots of it.. especially the ones that come in boxes so that i can dig the spoon deep into it.

I like eating chocolates too.. pure chocolate..without nuts in them.

I like sleeping the whole day with the tv switched on during vacations.

I like watching 'Discovery Travel and Living' and imagining myself on exotic journeys.

I like feeling exhausted after a long day of study..it gives me a great sense of satisfaction of time well used.

I like the sea during the night and watching huge waves breaking up on the rocks and the roar of the ocean...it makes me awe at the might of nature.

I like simplicity in people. It makes them very wonderful companions.

I like the howling of the wind.

I like keeping books organised. They always look better that way.

I like to laugh. Sometimes i dont feel like laughing but then i force myself into laughing and somehow everything soon really does seem very funny.

I like soft music, mainly jazz. Music exalts my mind.

I like solitude.. not always.. but it gives me time to reflect.

I like to apologise when i realize i have done something wrong.

I like getting gifts.. even small ones.. it's the thought that counts.

I like getting pampered by everyone when I fall sick.

I like talking with close friends.. friends are the best things in my life.

I like school reunions.

I like speaking up when someone does something wrong.

I like horses.. they are such magnificient creatures.

I like singing to myself.

I like dancing when nobody is watching.

I like waking up in the morning and feeling the freshness and the enthusiasm of a new day.

I like it when people smile :)

.

Words

2007-08-31T00:29:00.000-07:00

As I sit contemplating on what my first post would be, i think back on the reason this blog was created in the first place. It was simply because i wanted to write. Recently I have been exploring Montgomery's style and it is pure magic that he has created with words. The 'Anne of Green Gables' series has entranced me more than what Harry Potter has. Simple words that have beautifully conjured the whole village of Avonlea, its people and tales and more importantly, these words have created Anne - the thoughtful, young, freckle faced, red-headed girl whose adventures touch the heart of the reader.

I have always been fascinated by words ever since we had a chapter in english in the sixth or seventh standard on Khalil Gibran. Short excerpts published from his books led me into a whole new realm of awakening. It was a kind of revolution in me that fuelled my passion for the language and i was in love with the play with words.

Words I realized are intensely powerful and the beauty of them is that they are available to everyone. The same words which embody the greatest masterpieces of literature. Words can ignite every emotion we are capable of feeling. It can simply make us smile or laugh out loud, empathise with another or weep at our own sorrow, inspire us to try harder or create a blissful world in which we are perfectly happy the way we are. It is something i can find solace in, spurs me to face challenges. It makes my spirit soar...!
I remember a phrase by Victor Hugo.

"There is a prospect greater than the sea, and it is the sky; there is a prospect greater than the sky, and it is the human soul.”

Indeed its those people who have learnt the effective use of this magic tool, who have shaped humanity. Its through their writings that even today we continue to be amazed at the profound insight that people have had. Every individual has his/ her own ideas , concepts that the mind gives birth to based on different situations it is exposed to. And when such thoughts are shared and vicariously experienced by others do we come across this fabulously perplexing but enchantingly bewitching field of philosophy. What use would there be if thoughts were to remain stagnant within the brains of people, live with them, grow with then and eventually die with them!

Here I am reminded of my best friend. Honestly she is the most lively, spirited individual I have come across and the truest friend. Life is beautiful because of her. But all my assiduous efforts to coax her into reading, to explore and experience the beauty of words have been in vain. She is reluctant to read a book unless it comes to academics. But i cannot bear to have my best friend losing out on one of the greatest joys in life. I hope this post does something to change her mind ;)