Musings

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with"

I am never lonely in that case, often I delve into musings about myself and the world around me.

Yesterday as I was reading through my previous post which I must admit was the result of an unorganized mind typing away incoherent events, I noticed a seemingly trivial line that described me as being 'super chilled' at present. On introspecting a bit I realized that the essence of that word had taken a long while to take root in me in it's entirety.

Until about a year back, I was a different person. I used to worry a lot. Think and rethink every activity. Morning would find me mulling over what the day could have in store for me. I would worry about other people's opinions if I did something different. I would be tensed about adjusting if i had to get to a new places or meet new people, think a lot before I could try something new. All the good and bad would be balanced by me before arriving at any decision.

In short, let me say that every action of mine was governed by my sense of appropriateness.

But lately i have discovered the secret of letting myself free of worry and it has been a very joyous experience since then.

This doesn't necessarily translate into me going around doing any God forbidden thing and not paying the least regard to it's consequences. But there is a certain freedom i have experienced since when I have let myself free to explore new avenues and imbibe new ways of thinking and exploring situations.

I now do things I never did before. I bunk office to roam around with friends, i write little thank you notes for people when they least expect it, I try to be a better friend by not letting my own priorities get in the way.

I have now learnt that true friendship comes with some amount of sacrifice. If i expect someone to be a friend, i need to be one myself too. This old adage i have now known with experience.

I have learnt that admitting my mistakes wont make me inferior, instead it sets me free to hold my head up and look the world in the eye.

I have learnt that a person should have some principles in her life. Something you believe in and won't let sway with what other people say about it.

I have now learnt to forgive myself, if i do something wrong. What has been done is over, gone , a mere memory now. And it's upto me how i want to use that memory, whether to enstrengthen me or enervate me.

I have learnt that life won't always give u what u expect from it, but in the process of depriving you of temprorary gains, leaves you enriched with such wisdom as would not have gained from elsewhere. And every experience we've had has happened for a reason that we would realize long after. But everything always does happen for the good, no matter how much we think it didn't.

There is really no point in worrying. Hasn't Jesus said that not one man can add a single minute to their life by worrying about it. Why dwell in glooom when one can choose to be exuberant.

I have now known that life isn't really a race as they taught us, it's not about forgetting other's in yor desire to acheive or win, but it's about strengthening others and helping them run with you!