Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I know I went back on my word..but cudn't resist penning this down
I dont really like weddings...
I mean I can appreciate the happiness of the couple getting married... what i meant was the social, celebratory pomposity that surrounds it..
This leads me to a digressive quandary.. are couples who are getting married really happy?
Because in the case of a typical 'arranged marriage' in India, the groom and the bride hardly know each other!
In the best of cases they must have conversed over the phone a couple of times, seen a few pics and if they are lucky enough, they must have laid eyes on each other before giving the "I do" deference to their parents..
But this sure doesn't seem enough reason for entering into such a profound bond..
Then why do they get married.. is it a social necessity.. is it the fear of loneliness.. persuasion by parents??
C'mon think of it.. Havent we all come across people who seem splendid companions during the first few interactions.. but as u get to know them closely and as u peel off the outer layers of pretence that enshrouds every person, you begin seeing aspects of their personality that you didnt realize existed...
So when do you actually get to know a person completely?
Probably that just depends on how well the person masks his inner self and fakes a false demeanor.
Sometimes the reason why people mask their inner self is when they get 'infatuated'
During this stage you try to be as attractive as you can be to the object of your infatuation.. all you need is to possess it. .and when u reach a stage when the infactuation wears off.. so will the fake veil you've been wearing...
Well.. if my theory makes even an iota of sense then it implies that one can never get to know a person completely before marriage.
This perforates into two solutions...
1) Either you never get married, because if you do, then somewhere down the lane you are gonna be dejected. You won't be left with the person you thought you knew before marriage.
2) Or you could just go ahead and tie that knot.. and try to be the best companion you can be to your partner knowing fully well that he/she won't be perfect.. all you have to do is to understand their imperfections and appreciate them inspite of it..
I wonder if the latter is what they call 'Love'...
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love, marriage. interesting.. so which side are you on? A 'Yes' or a 'No' to arranged marriage??
ReplyDeleteHappy to see u writing again ....
ReplyDeleteA good article is always worth penning down even if it requires the author to break his word [;)]
I agree with your observations...
Specially the posh wedding ( The gr8 Indian weddings) where people spent lakhs simply to show off....
The worst part of all is the wastage ( Food, Electricity etc) for a simple ceremony which should be more concentrating on the like or dislike of bride and groom.
I want to add one more thing to ur blog..
Everything in our life we gained, lost or going to get is due to the choice you have made at one point of time... Life is all about choices..
the same is applicable for the most important event of a persons life.. Mariage..
Choice No 1 whether to Marry or not ?
Choice 2 Whether to marry him / her?
Mantra to Be Happy
"Think always that you have made the best choice at the point of decision making...Of course its own life and a person will take the Best decision he / she can take from the view point hez at that point of time.."
@anil
ReplyDeletewell.. personally i dont c much of a difference, if u find someone wonderful.. who is worth being a life long partner u cud go ahead and have that so called 'love marriage' else if it is ur family who introduces u to someone it ain't such a bad idea either..as long as it isnt thrust upon u..
@rmex....
ReplyDelete:D
loong comment here.. good to c u comment da :)
interesting theory.. a person will indeed take d decision tht he/she finds the best at the moment.. so love marriage gets a score !
yes the latter is called love :)
ReplyDeleteWell, if you need to be victorious in battle, you need to go out into battle in the first place..
ReplyDeleteI mean, I can't, given my indian "culture," envisage myself going up to any girl and asking her out on a date. And likewise, I guess, is the case with most people. In almost all cases of friends falling in love that I've come across, fate had brought them together due to maybe work or something like that which resulted in them getting to know each other better and falling in love.
But if one truly dreams about someone, would he/she have that courage and perseverance to go up to them, ask them out, and try to make it work out? If not, why not? I'd say it's more because you know you'll most likely be scorned upon; we as a people don't know how to politely turn someone down, if we are not in favor of their proposition.
In the absence of the above, we relapse into the "great indian tradition" of arranged marriages.
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@Varghese
ReplyDeleteU dont have the courage to ask someone out..thats surprising!
i remember some lines in a post wherein you described urself as someone who is determined to break the social bariers that exists in india - a gentle nudge to a female colleague , a friendly hug...yep something like that..
n regarding fate bringin ppl together... well.. fate might get someone near you.. but the rest depends on how you handle it.. quite often we might kick the opportunities fate brings us and sit complaining tht nothing good happens with us..