From her childhood, Sarah was fascinated by the world outside her little city. Little however has to be selectively applied only to the size of the city she lived in, for the spirit and vibrancy of the city was nothing short of monstrous. Sarah lived in Mumbai - the liveliest of Indian cities, famous for its Bollywood movies, its cultural and religious diversity and its potency to make dreams come true, equally infamous for its noise, pollution and underworld dons.
Sarah had never seen the much of the world, for that matter she had only visited a few places in India. However, being raised on a rich diet of European and American literature throughout her childhood and teenage, she fantasized life in distant countries. Countries where autumn turned the leaves red and orange, where winter caused the snow to spread its icy chill over every form of life and where spring heralded newness. In her city it was perpetually the same weather throughout the year, except for a couple of months of rainfall and an occasional bout of cold at the end of year. There was not be seen the ebb and fall of the seasons, the changing hues or the experience of soft flaky snow on your palm.
Sarah was a dreamer, an explorer at heart. She wanted to meet the people in these distant lands and understand their way of life. She had visualized a romantic world of cheerful people who waved their hats at each other hollering greetings as they passed each other by, of little children wearing bright colorful dresses running on fresh green lawns as their mothers or nannies kept a watchful eye on them. Her imagination also sometimes went anachronistic. Women wore gowns with ruffled sleeves and petticoats and corsets, hats with feathers on them and mittens on their hands. Men wore coats, waistcoats and breeches of fine fabric and lace. All colorful products of an over active imagination combined with a passion for 18th century European literature.
Such was her life. Such were her dreams.
Sarah ran her fingers through her long unruly tresses. She wore them open and they wrapped her back like a soft quilt. She had always attempted to tame them, but they insisted on remaining as obstinate as ever. She bunched them up such that they resembled a gorgeous bunch of grapes. She was tired, with everything that happened around her and her hair was just adding to it.
A sigh that was filled with pain and regret escaped her trembling lips. After nearly a year of battling depression, fighting it with bold words and a fake cheerfulness, she finally had succumbed to its lusty grasp. She felt like a drowning child trying to hold on to anything solid, anything permanent around her. But everything around her was as fickle as straw. Everything she clutched on to fell apart. The land under her feet was giving way like quicksand and the more she struggled to stay high, the more it pulled her down. What could she do? At 30, she was going through a divorce. The rock strong institution in her life - her marriage - had failed.
She blamed herself for it. She blamed herself for being the dreamer she was. Why did she have to fantasize life in exotic places. Such a life would never be hers. Why couldn't she be happy staying in her little city. The differences between her husband and her were not by any proportions small. They were two diametrically opposite people. She had loved to travel and see the world, but David loved India. He wasn’t much of a traveler, he found happiness in small things and daily events. Her desire to fly away and his to remain rooted was the principle reason for this divorce.
Sarah had met David on a mellow evening five years ago on this day. A typical arranged marriage in India, Sarah had not had the chance to get to know David much before their marriage. However she had sensed a bonding with him from the time their eyes first met. Hers was shy and beautiful, his admiring and tender. It was an instant connection. It is very truly said that the eyes convey the most expressions of all human gestures, for through the eyes reflect our inner self. They do not betray inner emotions. They are transparent and clear like streams on sunny days, incapable of hiding anything.
Sarah and David had on that beautiful evening looked deep into each others’ eyes. If there is something called a soul in each of us, then on that day, at that moment, their souls recognized each other and had sought comfort and tenderness in its mate's company.
A couple of uncontrollable tears rolled down her cheek as she heard their wedding vows echoing from some faraway place in her mind. They had held hands in church, in front of their family and friends and had promised to love, comfort and cherish each other till the end of their days.
I vow to love each day anew, For love must exist through time and space:”,
Sarah softly repeated her wedding vows. How she wished for a new beginning, how she wished that life could give her a second chance. All those days of love, romance and belonging now seemed such a long time ago. She could not understand how something so beautiful could have reached such a low. She had been the eternal romantic. She used to believe that love was forever, that love could fight all odds. But sadly in her story, love had finally accepted defeat.
She passed the last night that she would be legally married to David in nostalgic anguish. Did he feel the same, she wondered. She hadn't heard from him in a very long time except through his lawyer. Tomorrow she would have to face him in the court. How strange was life.
.. to be contd...
