Running from Demons

From the many maladies of seniority, a little respite may be found in the company of one's grandchildren. To laugh at the little one's antics or to lift them fondly into your lap and lose oneself once more in that sublime innocence of childhood. When you fetch those bedtime stories from the prime of your adulthood, which had once awed your own children, and deliver it now with the added spice of seniority, then your mind is put to better tasks than wallowing in self pity and lost memories. Such were Ravi's grandpa's thoughts and hopes.

Eight year old Ravi came home from school, eager to meet his grandpa who had come to visit him. Though Ravi had met him once earlier it was much before his mind had started retaining people and places in his memory. When all his friends used to speak about their grandparents and the lavish pampering they received from them, Ravi would become very sad, unable to remember any happy memory of his own grandparents. Today was the day he would begin compensating for eight years of lost grand paternal company.

The moment he got out of his school bus, he crossed the little broken lane that served for a road, and ran all the way to his building, scaring a few innocent stray dogs along the way. He was too eager to even wait for the lift to come down and instead preferred running up 3 floors of the building and pressed the bell a couple more times than usual.

"Shush dear, Grandpa is sleeping", said his mother in response to his loud query when the door was opened.

A very sad Ravi after gulping down lunch, preferred to wait noiselessly in his grandpa's room, till he awoke. He quietly slipped into the room and saw his grandpa lying on a bed snoring gently. From the arms and chest that protruded from the white banyan, Ravi concluded that Grandpa looked quite thin and frail and it seemed as if a really good hug from his end might do grandpa more harm than good. He kept in mind this fact, lest his enthusiasm got the better of him.

He then went and quite absentmindedly sat in the brand new rocking chair his father had bought the previous evening especially for grandpa's visit and had almost rocked himself to sleep, when he heard a voice crying, "I am sorry, I am sorry, please forgive me"

Ravi looked up startled, as was his habit when he was unnaturally roused from the brink of sleep.

It was his grandpa who seemed agitated on the bed. At first Ravi thought that grandpa was talking to him, but on further observation he realized that grandpa was addressing an unknown person in his sleep. He seemed to be pleading forgiveness from this spectral entity. Then his voice died down, but the agitation continued. After a while he became still and resumed sleep. This happened three times, each time his grandpa would speak to a bodiless person and entreat forgiveness or mercy.

After a while, his grandpa woke up and Ravi immediately went and sat by his side. He gave him a gentle hug remembering his earlier resolve.

"Grandpa", said Ravi to the old man, "Why were you crying in you sleep, who were you talking to, whom were you apologizing to?"

"Oh really? Was I talking in my sleep again dear?", said grandpa with the indulging air of a grandparent.

"Yes. You really seemed very sad then."

"By the time one is of my age beta, one has been through a lot of life.", said Grandpa in a tone graver than he had intended to use with his grandson. "There are several mistakes that I have made, several people whom I have hurt both knowingly and unknowingly."

"Why so ?", asked Ravi.

"Because when I was younger, I did not have the courage many a times to do what was right. It required being strong and fighting people, I took the easy way out. Now all my past mistakes have come chasing after me. They don't let me rest. There are demons who chase and torment me, especially in my sleep when I am the most vulnerable."

"What demons grandpa?", asked a visibly scared Ravi.

"Demons of the people whom I have wronged. My childhood friend who had a walking impairment and I joined in teasing him with the other kids. I cannot forget the look on his face as I was laughing at him with the others. The girl whom I did not marry after giving her my word that I would, I can never escape from her eyes, they follow me everywhere. The man whose innocence I knew, but shut my mouth in fear when everyone pronounced him guilty. The insensitivity I have shown to my wife on several occasions. Several more such instances, the memories of these people whom I have hurt, they have followed me like demons out to destroy my mind. They gnaw at my soul and do not give me any respite. I have been running from them all my life.  Earlier I was strong and I could hide from them, but now I am a weak old man and much too tired to run anymore. I am waiting for that one final sleep when I shall have escaped all these demons and be peaceful once more."

"What sleep is that grandpa?"

"Death, my dear boy. That is the final sleep of peace."

"Grandpa", said Ravi in a low voice.  "In my school they say that death is not the end of it all.  They say that there is life even after  death. What if these demons follow you forever in the after-world?"

A very disturbed grandpa, his lips quivering as if someone had revealed a particularly unpleasant, almost horrible piece of information, managed to whisper, "I... I hadn't thought about that until now"

                     

 ***

"Beta", said Ravi's grandfather to his father that evening, "Book my tickets for tomorrow. I must go back. It doesn't suit an old man to be away from his home."